Page 6 of Rock Me

The bliss lasts as long as it takes for someone to ram their elbow into my side, trying to make room for himself at the bar. I hug the glass against my chest, protecting it as I open my eyes and snarl at the intruder on my moment.

“Asshole!” I yell, giving him some elbow of my own. I instantly regret it. His chest is hard and broad. And my jab causes me more hurt than him.

“Sorry,” he says, not sounding sorry at all. I detect a European accent in the one word. Ugh, fucking tourists.

“Oi, careful of the lady,” Chris intervenes and I glare at him. I especially don’t need him to protect me.

Paige pushes past Chris and gives me a look before turning her perfect smile on the elbow owner. “Oh, it’s totally okay. It’s pretty crowded in here.”

“Not too damn busy for manners,” I say, refusing to let him off so easily, not that he’ll pay any attention to me, now that Paige has turned her charms on him.

He raises his eyebrows and looks like he’s trying not to laugh. “No, truly, I’m sorry. Let me pay for another round.”

“No, thanks.” I tell him. Even though my tongue twitches at the thought of getting another glass of Scotch to enjoy. “Just keep your elbows to yourself, next time.”

Paige gives me a kick and I turn back to glare at her. She just shakes her head and leans in, her mouth against my ear. “Oh my god, what is wrong with you? Don’t you know who that is?”

“Seriously? Star spotting? Haven’t you lived here long enough to not get star struck?”

“I’m not star struck, I’m just-…”

“No! Don’t know, don’t care.” I hold my hand up.

I turn back to face the bar, there are two hundred dollar bills under the tip glass and both he and the Centipede have gone. Good. It’s back to just me and my drink.

Thirty minutes later, my first glass of Scotch is empty and so is my second, my third and yes, my fourth (thank you handsome stranger with the offending elbows), and I’m infinitely more relaxed. In fact, so relaxed that my bladder reminds me I haven’t taken a bathroom break since 5 p.m., before the dinner rush. Suddenly, I need to pee, and I need to pee right now.

I motion to Paige but she’s too busy flirting with James to care. Elbows at the ready, I make my way through the crowd to the restrooms, the extra jostling making the trip all the more necessary. Squeezing my legs together, I suck my stomach in as I push myself through the gaps between dancing bodies to the back of the room. It takes longer than I had hoped and by the time I get there, I’m ready to burst.

There’s a line out the door. Fuck! I stand there, jumping from leg to leg wondering how likely it is that these ladies are going to let me push in.

I tap the shoulder in front of me, “Please, can I go ahead of you? I’m dying here.”’

“No way! I’ve been waiting for like ten minutes.”

Ten minutes? God no. My bladder twitches at the thought and I almost lose control. I spin around, my eyes crazed, wondering what to do. I see Elbow-Asshole emerge from the Men’s restroom.

“You!” I yell at him, before I can stop myself. Um… think of something, think of something… “Um, I’m looking for my boyfriend. Is he in there?”

He looks me over for a minute, and I try to calm the crazed need to pee look off my face and stop the pee dance. “Er, no. It’s empty. Sorry.” He shouts over the noise.

Sorry? It’s the best news I’ve heard all day. I eye him up and down. He doesn’t look like a serial molester. But I guess I should still ask.

“And – are you some kind of serial peeping tom?” His forehead scrunches up for a moment. “Dude. You have to think about it?!”

“Well, yes. I mean – I only tom peep on thethird Thursday of every month that ends on a Monday in years that are a multiple of three, does that count as serial?”

I’m going to have to take a chance that he’s only joking.

I grab his arm and spin him around, so his back is to the bathroom door.

“Ok, you’re just going to have to do. I need to pee. And there’s a line for the ladies’, so I’m going in to the Men’s. You stand guard. You and your elbow owe me!”

He throws his head back and laughs, and for a moment I’m afraid he’s just going to walk off.

“Ok, fine. Go. I will stand here and protect you with my killer elbows.” I barely have time to see him stretch his arms out to his sides and wave them around before I run into the restroom and into the first cubicle I see.

Ah. Holy hell, sweet relief.