Page 71 of Rock Me

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Noémie

“Noémie?” There’s a voice at the door and I jump up, expecting Jez. But it’s not his voice.

It’s a familiar voice, but it’s not the one I wanted to hear.

“It’s me, it’s Chris.”

It takes me a moment to place him. And then I remember. It’s Chris, the sleazy guy from Gators. What the hell is he doing here? I notice someone looming behind him. It’s Mike, doing his bodyguarding thing. I gesture that it’s okay and he goes back to his seat.

“Chris? Um, what are you doing here?” I stand up by the bed, feeling self-conscious at the near stranger here in my hospital room.

“You still don’t remember?” He says, taking a few steps closer, his strong aftershave wafting toward me. I try not to cringe. My sense of smell is so strong that it’s almost like an attack on my nose.

“Remember what?” I say, absently, while I try to find a discreet way to fan the scent away.

“Me. Us.” What is he talking about? There is no us.

“Well, I remember you from the bar, Chris. That’s all there is to remember.”

“No. Babe, no. Damn, I… I was hoping you’d remember by now. I’ve stayed away because I didn’t want to create any extra pressure on you, but I can’t stay away any longer. I needed to see you.”

I can’t help but wish he had stayed away. I don’t know what he’s talking about. I don’t know why he’s here.

"I don't remember."

"Babe. Come on, try." He comes up to me, so close I almost retch from the scent. I'm too busy trying to breathe, I almost don't notice when he grabs my hand and presses it up to his face.

"Feel my face. Don't tell me you don't recognize me." I fight not to wrench my hand away because I don't want to hurt his feelings... just in case.

"I- I do recognize you. I just don't, I don't remember us being together.”

"You kill me. You're killing me, babe." He lets go of my hand and finally steps back and sits down on the couch.

How...how can this be happening? Could I really be forgetting being involved with him?

You forgot, Jez. My brain reminds me. I did. I don't remember, Jez. And frankly, if I don't remember, Jez. I could forget anybody. I could forget me and who I am, completely. I could forget all that and still, I would remember Jez. But I don't.

Fuck.

I wander over, my eyes on him, his face, his movement, willing it to trigger something in my brain.

But there's nothing.

Well, there's disgust.

I take a breath and sink down onto the couch next to him. He looks at me, his eyes lowered, sad.

"Um, Chris. Why... why don't you tell me a little about us then, maybe it will help me remember?"

"Of course, babe."

I nod, trying to smile, to encourage him. I can't imagine how hard it would be to be in love with someone and have them not remember you. Maybe Jez would know, I think, and feel instantly guilty. He's never said he loved me or that we were involved. But he's given every indication that he is now, hasn't he?

Shut up with your Jez obsession for a moment right now there's a man in front of you, telling you he is your boyfriend, give him some respect.

I notice Chris is looking at me strangely, and I wonder if he's said anything yet.