Page 78 of Rock Me

"Why didn't you come in?" I ask him again.

"Did you want me to?" His voice is low, husky, restrained. He’s trying to hold back on saying something. I wish he would just say it. I think I want to hear it.

"Why else would I be here?" I say, giving him the answer even before it has occurred to me. Of course, that's why I was here. Waiting for him. Waiting for him to tell me he has come for me.

He exhales hard and spins around, his back to me. Before I can stop him, he pulls his hand back and then thumps against the wall. I grimace, just as he hisses with pain, pulling his hand against his chest.

"Oh, Jez!” My body hurts for him as I reach out to touch his back. “Are you okay?"

He jumps as my touch, like I’ve burned him and he growls, "No! I'm not fucking okay! Fuck!"

He spins back around and grabs my shoulders, pulling me against him.

"Forgive me, god, please forgive me," he whispers and he leans in, his breath, hot and sweet against my face.

He's going to kiss me. He's finally going to kiss me.

I hold my breath and close my eyes.

And this time, all I can see is Chris's face. My eyes snap open and I press hard on his chest, pushing him away.

'I can't... I... I have a boyfriend," I say, even though the words have no meaning to me.

Jez squeezes his eyes shut and pulls away, leaning his head against the wall.

"I know. That’s why I needed you to forgive me. I wanted to kiss you anyway.”