Page 118 of When In Doubt

“Yeah.” I sigh, relieved not to be faced with the horror of mingling. “That’s perfect.”

Oscar steps close, his back obscuring me from Mack and Joni’s view. “You sure you don’t mind?” he says, too quietly for them to hear. “I can tell Mack to get fucked and we can stay together?”

“No, it’s all good.” I’m trying to reassure myself as much as I am him. “Go help Mack, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” He leans down to kiss my forehead. “Come find me if you need anything, yeah?” He turns back to Mack and Joni. “Let’s get to it.”

I don’t miss the meaningful look he gives Joni as he passes her, or the way he mouths look after her. Joni just chuckles and shoves him after her husband, rolling her eyes.

“I remember you.” Birdie points at me from Joni’s arms.

“Yeah?” I ask, making a shocked face. “Have you got your axe this time?”

“She does not,” Joni chides, smoothing down her daughter’s hair. “This young lady lost her chopping privileges after she gave her daddy a bruise the size of a football.”

“Oh no!” I gasp, “Well, that’s not very nice, is it?”

“It was an accident.” Birdie shrugs. She brings her thumb up to her mouth and starts sucking it. “And Daddy says accidents happen.”

“That may be true, but it doesn’t mean that you get your axe back,” Joni says firmly. “Come on, let’s go sit.”

We head closer to the house, where a cluster of Adirondack chairs are huddled around an unlit fire pit. Joni sits back in one with Birdie between her legs. I perch on the side of another and have to smooth the fabric of my skirt under my legs so that none of my skin touches the cold metal. I feel a little overdressed for a backyard BBQ, in a black turtleneck and circle skirt under my coat, but it’s not like I had any notice.

“You need a drink or anything?” Joni asks.

“No, thank you.” I pull my coat tighter around myself, feeling awkward. In the last half hour, I’ve gone from closing the shop, planning on a quiet night in with Oscar, to attending a party in a stranger’s backyard.

A thought occurs to me. “Did Oscar tell you I was coming?” I don’t know what I’ll do if it turns out I’ve just crashed.

“I asked him to bring you.” Joni doesn’t look at me, focused on re-braiding Birdie’s hair.

“Why?” I blurt out.

She looks up, eyes warming. “Because we wanted to meet you.”

I look down, twisting my fingers in my lap. “Has Oscar talked about me?”

“From what Mack’s told me, he never shuts up about you.”

“Really?”

“When they were up in the mountains I was getting texts, being all ‘who the heck is this Freya?’, ‘I’m getting sick of hearing about this girl’.” Joni puts on a faux-deep voice, doing a bad impression of her husband.

“You said heck,” Birdie pipes up.

“Did I?” Joni gasps. “Did I really?” She starts tickling her daughter, Birdie’s loud squeals echoing through the garden and drawing stares from all around. Birdie thrashes in her mom’s hold as she tries to get away. Joni eventually releases her with a few hard kisses to the top of her head.

I watch the two of them, trying to will away the band of tension starting to tighten around my chest.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

OSCAR

Joni rolls her eyes at me the third time I walk over to where she and Freya are sitting. I can’t help it. Even when I’m helping Mack, or chatting to some of the other guys, my attention is on her. It’s been almost impossible to stop myself from hovering, and I’ve had to resort to dropping by every now and then, checking in under the guise of bringing her drinks and a plate of food.

“Still feeling good?” I ask Freya. My hand sneaks out on its own to reach for a strand of her hair, rubbing it between my fingers as I stand next to her chair.

“Yes.” There’s a little bit of attitude in her voice, a tiny scrunch of her nose. I fucking love it. She’s happy to give me shit when it’s just the two of us, but as soon as we’re around other people she tends to clam up. “Just like every other time you’ve asked,” she whispers.