Page 59 of The Route to You

Kyle frowned into the dark. Someone else might think that was innocent enough. Loving, even. But for a dickwad like Evan, it had probably been about control. “So, what do you do to stay busy?”

“Go to the gym, read, decorate the house, help with charity projects for Evan’s family’s nonprofit. I started taking an oil class a year ago, and I’ve been painting.”

“That’s not nothing.”

“Uh-huh. Thanks for making me feel useless.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He rolled toward her a little. “It’s just you always had this brain that needed something to chew on. I can’t picture you happy being told what to do all day.”

Silence for a beat.

“No, you’re right. I hated it.”

Her honesty surprised him.

She went on quietly. “It bothers me. Not just because it hasn’t been fulfilling, but because I know how it looks. Like I’m not allowed to be unhappy because my life is cushy.”

“Well, you know what they say about money not buying happiness but making misery a whole lot better.”

A soft huff. “Oh, believe me, I’ve heard it all. That’s part of why I stay off the internet. Nothing worse than having a bad day and then watching strangers tell you you’re not allowed to have one.”

Kyle shifted, and their knees brushed under the covers. Neither of them moved away.

“If I posted right now about Evan,” Sloan continued, “I guarantee I’d get people telling me how my heart should hurt less because my dad has money. Like pain comes with a price tag.”

Kyle turned his head toward her. “It doesn’t.”

Her breath hitched slightly. “No, it doesn’t. And, yes, I get it. I have a safety net. But it’s not comforting in the way people think. No amount of money keeps the things that matter the most safe. I’ve spent a lot of sleepless nights feeling like no one understands. Evan and our friends came from wealth, but I didn’t. Even my best friend, Cheyenne, just . . . blinks at me when I try to explain it.”

“What about Penny? She knows what you went through. Doesn’t she understand?” Kyle hadn’t been privy to everything, of course, but he remembered clearly how much Sloan’s family had struggled to pay expensive medical bills when her mom had been sick—partially because that’s when Mom had gotten into her car accident and Dad had faced the same situation.

“Penny feels exactly the opposite way from me on everything. We’ve grown apart and rarely talk.”

Exhaustion was starting to take a toll on him, and he squeezed his eyes tightly for a few seconds, trying to stay awake. The times they’d spent the night together before had been when Sloan came to visit his dorm his freshman year of college, which was frequent, because her mom was in the hospital and her dad was always working or with Sloan’s mom.

She’d always been talkative at night—complaining that he fell asleep within moments of setting his head on the pillow while she struggled to sleep.

Back then, he hadn’t minded that difference. She woke him up for sex—usually more than once—and he’d hold her until she fell asleep.

Now, his aching body was begging for sleep, but he didn’t want to fall asleep mid-conversation like he always used to. Not when she was finally talking like this.

“You still struggle with insomnia?” he asked, his head bobbing as he fought off another wave of sleepiness.

“Always. I didn’t think I’d sleep last night at all, but I must have been so tired that I couldn’t help myself. Sorry if I’m keeping you awake. That’s why I had the edibles. Francesca thought they’d help.”

“You’re fine,” he said. And then, maybe because his exhaustion had sanded down his caution, his hand found hers under the blanket and covered it.

Sloan went still.

“You’re safe, Sloan,” Kyle murmured. “Not just physically. With me.” His thumb brushed once, over the side of her hand, before he caught himself. “Try to get some rest.”

Her fingers turned under his, and she laced her fingers with his. The spark that shot up his wrist was so sharp it made his breath catch, startling him into further wakefulness. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Mm,” he managed, trying to sound normal while his entire nervous system decided to betray him.

“Can I ask you a question?” she said.

“Sure.”