Page 112 of The Blood Rites

I search the halls, scanning every alcove. There are no Overseers in the Embrace, and that makes me more nervous, not less—like I’m being watched from behind the stone itself. Even with fewer Offerings, the Embrace shouldn’t feel this empty.

I find Marissa in the Dome, training alone under the much-too-bright lights. She’s hunched over a quarterstaff that is far too big for her, bracing herself for another swing. The moment she hears my footsteps, she flinches, ready to bolt, but when she realises it’s me, she drops her shoulders and smiles.

“Luceris,” she says, and the relief in her voice loosens something in my chest.

I take a step closer. “Trying out something new?”

She shrugs, like I’ve caught her doing something embarrassing.

“Oh, this?” she says, giving the staff a twirl. “I’m not very good with it. I just—I needed to do something with my hands. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“I get it,” I say. And I do.

She turns the staff once more, half-heartedly, before letting it clatter to the floor. “I’m sorry I left you,” she says.

I don’t know what to say. Why is she apologising?

“What are you talking about?” I manage. “I told you to run.”

She laughs, but the sound is a ghost of one. “I know, I know. But I shouldn’t have listened. I should have stayed, but... I was so scared. I couldn't even find Callen. I just hid behind a rock and cried.”

My chest tightens. “I’m so sorry,” I say, hating how pointless it sounds. “I’m meant to be protecting you, but I can’t protect anyone.”

She shakes her head hard. “No. Don’t be. I survived because you made me run. If you hadn't, I’d have just got in your way and...” She lets the words die. “Anyway. We made it.”

Some of us did, at least.

Silence settles between us.

She looks up at me, searching my face. “You keep saying you’re not brave, that you’re not strong. But you are, you know. I think you’re the bravest one here.”

I flush. “That’s not true.”

“It is,” she insists, like she’s angry at me. “You always put yourself last. You never hesitate to stand between the rest of us and whatever is coming. And not just for me... or Kael.” She smiles slyly as she says his name. “But even for someone like Lyssandra, who didn’t want to be helped.”

She looks at her hands, twisting them awkwardly in her lap.

“I don’t want to die,” she says. Her voice is so small it threatens to break me. “But I don’t want to stand by while you die for me either.”

“That’s my choice,” I say, the irony not lost on me. “You just—you deserve better than this.”

She nods slowly before saying, “You do too, Luceris. Maybe you most of all.”

I don’t believe that.

We sit in silence, staring at the lights above us.

After a while, she gets up and takes a short sword from the weapon rack. Like the staff, it’s slightly too big for her, but she hefts it anyway, holding it awkwardly in both hands.

“I’m going to keep training,” she says, not looking at me. “I don’t think I’ll be able to hurt anyone. But I want to be less scared, even if it’s only for a minute.”

Kael would tell her fear is weakness. I think it might be the only thing keeping us human.

She plants her feet and swings the sword. The form is sloppy and she nearly loses her footing, but she plants her feet again.

I feel something close to pride. Not for myself, but for her.

She swings again, then again, each one a little more sure than the last.