Page 61 of Grace

“I want to ask you something about Cyrus.”

“You should stay behind the counter.” She exhales loudly, slowly.

“Wendy.” I put my hand on hers. I’m well aware of how much this situation sucks, and I also know I asked her a huge favor two years ago… But I was desperate, and I knew Wendy was in love with Cyrus. The thing is, I am still desperate—and she is still in love with Cyrus.

“I ain’t got all night.”

“How’s Cyrus? I mean, when you guys…” I don’t say it out loud, because it is awkward for both of us.

“I don’t know,” she replies.

“What do you mean?”

“Cyrus and I haven’t had sex for three months now.”

“Why?” I blink in surprise.

“Because he wants you. He’s waiting for you.”

A minor panic flares up inside me, but I manage to push down the urge to vomit in the middle of the bar.

“He’s a good man. He won’t hurt you. He’ll take care of you if you finally decide to be a proper girlfriend.”

“Proper girlfriend?” The words pierce my heart.

“Cyrus is a man. A strong, handsome man with a huge heart, and you…”

“And I?”

“You use him, Grace. I know what happened to you, and I’m sorry for you, but if you’re only with Cyrus to feel safe, you should simply ask for his protection and then break up with him. He deserves to have a real woman by his side, someone who loves him in every way.”

Wendy thinks she’s hurting my feelings, but she’s not. I know all this. I think about it every day. When I’m bathing, I often think about seducing him, but when I enter the room, my courage—and my desire—evaporate.

“You’re right,” I sigh. “But can I ask you for one last favor?”

She gives me a stern look. “I’m listening.”

“Give me a little more time.”

“I can’t fucking believe this!” she snaps and walks over to another empty table.

“Wait!” I step in front of her. “I know what I’m asking is crazy. And I might be crazy too. But if Cyrus needs a woman… needs you, please don’t turn him down.”

“I’ve had enough of your childish games, Grace,” she hisses like a snake. “Don’t ask me this, because I won’t give him back next time. If you hadn’t come into the picture, Cyrus and I would’ve been together for a long time.”

“I know.” I look down, my face burning with shame.

“I’ll do it for him. Not for you. And now, I’d appreciate it if you let me work.”

I step away from her and walk off with my head bowed. I glance at her from behind the counter. She’s the full package—gorgeous, kind, and feminine. She’s tall, with wide hips and big breasts, full pink lips, and a cute little nose that makes her round face adorable. Her shiny blonde hair is long and thick.

This Kansas girl is everything a man could hope for. Generous, optimistic, sensitive, family-oriented—and she loves to care for others.

The worst thing is that I don’t feel any jealousy about her body or her relationship with Cyrus. All I feel sorry about is that I’m not whole like her.

Knowing Cyrus won’t come for me—that I’ll have to drive home alone—has been twisting my insides into a knot ever since he told me this morning.

I hate this so much!