Page 34 of Juan

Leo’s eyes flickered to Mantis as he smiled. “I’m sure Michael will have an idea or two.”

The baby monitor crackled to life, and the sound of little baby grunts filled the room. Amber’s heart stuttered, then exploded with a love she didn’t know she had in her.

“The queen has arisen,” Adrian said. “Let’s go together to get her.”

She gave Spencer’s hand another squeeze, then rose, inexplicably nervous. Babies weren’t all that different from adults, and waking with an essential stranger in her room might not be a welcome sight for Zoe. But they had to start the transition sometime.

“A word of warning, she’s grumpy when she wakes up, but she moves through it quickly,” Adrian said. “I usually change her diaper, then give her some water, and by the time we’re done, she’s back to her usual self.”

“Is she a good sleeper?” Amber asked as they climbed the stairs.

Adrian nodded. “Surprisingly. She always has been. In that we’ve been lucky. She does get hangry, though. And it hits in a flash. We’ve learned to always have something on hand for her. A snack or some formula.”

A pang went through Amber at that last comment. She’d wanted to nurse her baby. She’d imagined it dozens of times while pregnant. The image of being somewhere safe, holding her child, just the two of them, had sustained her through those last months with Anthony.

They reached the door, and Adrian paused, then set a hand on her arm. “I can’t imagine the spectrum of emotions you must be feeling with all this. I know you’re grateful for what my mom and I did, but I also recognize that you might be mourning the things you missed. I’m not going to tell you how you should feel or respond, but I will say, from experience, the past is the past. We process it and learn what we can, and that may take a while. But I’ve found it helpful to remind myself that we can only control what we can control.”

Amber’s smile weighed heavy on her heart as Adrian’s words echoed her own thoughts moments ago. “I feel like a pendulum swinging between anger and sorrow for what I missed and hope and joy for what I have, for what you and your mom made possible,” she whispered.

Adrian nodded as more noises filtered through the door. “And you’ll probably feel that way for a while. It will be exhausting, so give yourself some grace, too. As it is, it’s only been a few hours, so I think you’re doing remarkably well.”

Amber managed a small smile that turned into a chuckle when a squawk came from the other room. “I guess she decided she’s waited long enough?”

Adrian laughed, and they opened the door to find Zoe standing, her hair flat on one side, sticking up on the other, and her fingers curled over the edge of the porta-crib. The second she saw them, she lifted her arms to Adrian. Another pang pinched Amber’s heart, but she reminded herself that Zoe didn’t have the luxury of understanding what was happening. That would only come with time and trust. And building that trust was something within Amber’s control.

Rather than linger on the regret that sliced through her, she set up the changing mat and pulled a diaper and wipes from the bag, helping Adrian in ways that changed Zoe’s routine a little but not too much. By the time they handed her a sippy cup of formula and headed back downstairs, she was happy to be in Amber’s arms.

“You’re not becoming a spook,” a voice echoed through the room as they made their way down the last few steps.

“Why not? Seems a cool job.”

Amber snorted. Monk and Kendall returning for the afternoon; Monk from working on one of the rentals the club owned, and Kendall from her after-school program.

“Spooks are unpleasant, devious, weird, and most importantly, can almost never have normal relationships with people. Is that what you really want?” Monk asked.

Amber stepped off the last tread and into the room, making a note to pick up a couple of baby gates.

“Lina was a spy. She seems to be perfectly norm— Amber, why are you carrying a baby that looks just like you?” Kendall asked.

Kendall had only just turned thirteen, but her intelligence was off the charts. As in a certified genius. She attended school for the social aspects but completed college courses online in the evenings. No one had said it explicitly, but by consensus, they didn’t keep things from her. Not even things that maybe a teenager shouldn’t hear.

“I was pregnant the last time my ex-husband beat me unconscious. He told me I lost the baby, but it turns out he threw her away, in the garbage, but Clara and Adrian”—she pointed to the women as she spoke—“saved her. Took them a while to find me, but they did, and now she’s here. Meet Zoe. My daughter.”

Kendall dropped her backpack in the middle of the floor, the way only a teenager could, and glared at her brother. “All this went on today and you didn’t tell me?”

Monk rolled his eyes. “I was going to, but then I got distracted by the CIA grooming my thirteen-year-old sister.”

Kendall gave an almost identical roll of her eyes but added a shake of her head, her cropped dark hair swaying with the movement. “Whatever,” she muttered before walking over.

“Hi, Zoe,” she said with a smile. Zoe bounced once, her cup hitting Amber in the shoulder, then leaned toward Kendall. Amber didn’t want to give her up, but a tiny part of her knew it was important for Zoe to build relationships with the entire Falcons family.

“We’re going to form a club, you and me,” Kendall said, taking the little girl. Amber watched her closely, but the teenager seemed remarkably comfortable, and capable, with the toddler. “The found family members,” Kendall continued, spinning away from Amber and Adrian. “See, that’s my brother. Technically, my half-brother, but we don’t bother with that distinction. He found me last year. Or I found him. We found each other. And now you’ve found your mom, she’s found you. You landed somewhere good,” she said, walking toward one of the windows. “The guys can be a bit bossy and protective, but they’re good. And your mom is awesome. She’s the best cook. Probably not super important to you right now,” she said, as formula dribbled from Zoe onto Kendall’s shirt. “But you’ll appreciate it as you get older.” Spinning toward Callie, she continued. “And you’re going to have a cousin in a few months, too. Don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, but we could use another girl to even out all that.” She waved at the group of men loitering in the room, some standing, some sitting.

“I like her,” Clara said.

“How’d you get so good with kids?” Philly asked.

Kendall shrugged. “Some of the places my mom dragged me had kids. There were kids my age, too, but they were into things I wasn’t. It was easier to hang out with the younger ones. People left me alone as long as I kept them entertained.”