Page 83 of Vervain

I touch my lips, and flakes of dried blood crumble away from my skin. I bit Serun. I craved it. After Devan cut himself, it was as if all my willpower dissolved into thirst. All the days I have felt hungry combined, and I became ravenous in a matter of seconds. It wasn’t human food I was craving all along. It was blood.

A disgusted shudder runs through me, and I focus on my surroundings, my hands pressing against a softened cushion. At least this one is more comfortable than the last, I suppose.

Still, I’m in here for⁠—

Hands are holding my thighs. I look down, and with every slow blink to adjust to the darkness, I digest what’s happening. There’s a body underneath me.

Serun lies there, eyes closed, head tilted to the side, without breath. Not a rise of the chest, or any sign that he is alive, which, I suppose, is normal for a nightwalker.

But because of that, I didn’t realise he was in here with me.

My fingertips twitch against what I now know is flesh, like marble. He’s shirtless. My hands press against tense muscles, and as I shift, I realise how close I am to the sleeping Nightwalker Lord.

You could kill him, a purr of a voice whispers. He is vulnerable. Exposed. So easily killed. Nightwalkers can’t stay awake during the day…

With an exhale, I move my hand across his chest to where his heart would be.

A stake there and he will be ashes.

Could I do it, though?

I stare at his face. He’s peaceful. Content. His ears are pulled back, facial features soft, as if lulled into a deep sleep.

I don’t think I can, and not because he is my only way of getting Cole back. I don’t think I can kill him because whenever I look at Serun, my heart wants to match him and stop completely. My hand drags up to cup his face. There is something about him that makes me want to find the silver tear so he can see the sun again.

A drawn-out sigh escapes me, and I touch my mouth again to scratch off the rest of the dried blood. I will not bite anyone ever again. This isn’t me.

This isn’t who I want to be.

My heart speeds up, and the ache in my throat warns me before the warmth slips down my cheeks. I cup my mouth to stifle a sob as I bow forward, resting my forehead on Serun’s chest.

What if I look at Cole like I did Devan, and there is no one there to stop me?

Tremors shake my shoulders uncontrollably, and the tears I’ve held back since coming here—so fucking alone—leak out and soak into his chest.

But at least Serun is…

A streak of cold moves up my thighs and to my waist. Serun moves, turning onto his side. He doesn’t talk. Not even a murmur to indicate he is awake. He just wraps his arms tighter around me and rests his chin on my head.

Unsure what to do, I am stone; the only part of my body moving is the organ in my chest. It slams against my cage, making me painfully aware that a piece of me is still alive.

Then, the hands on his muscular chest move on their own—a machine wanting more than my mind can comprehend. With little willpower to stop myself, my hands move around to his broad, tense back, and I crush my body closer to his.

“When I said I wanted you in my deathbed, I didn’t mean this,” he murmurs.

I breathe a laugh and push closer to him, as if that is even possible. “And when I woke, I didn’t expect to see myself sleeping on a naked corpse.”

A hint of a flutter fights off my torment when I see his crooked smirk. “Partially naked.”

“Right, sorry,” I say, my long fingernails drawing down his back to graze the waistband of his pants. “You are still somewhat presentable.”

Serun peeks out of one eye to look down at me. I know he can see me better than I can see him. He likely sees the blood staining my face.

Prickles crawl across my hairline, and I look away. The guilt returns as fast as the steam train. Thoughts race through my mind, overlapping like dough folded and pressed by fingertips.

“Serun—” His mouth crushes against mine, and the hand on my hip moves up and into my hair. One moment, we are side by side, and the next, I’m underneath him. He leans in for another kiss when I shrink back and say, “I have your blood on my mouth.”

I wanted to see disgust or repulsion over what I did, but Serun only nudges his head slightly and says, “And? I bit you too.”