Page 61 of Easy On Me

She snorted, the derision scraping over my skin. “Should’ve thought about that before you went there bare.”

Anger flashed through me, righteous temple-table-tossing fury.

“That’s not fair.” My jaw ached from how hard I clenched my teeth, and a taut pain sat dead center in my chest. “I get you’re mad. I’m mad. But how was I supposed to know she stopped her birth control? Tell me what I should have done differently?”

The noise she made dripped disdain. “Looked past those pretty looks of hers and seen who she really was sooner.”

I deflated, staring at her impassive face. She blamed me for this. My life – our life – was falling apart, the wreckage around my feet like the end result of a catastrophic engine failure. I needed her.

And she blamed me.

Examining her expression, I fought through the hurt. Tiny lines framed her puffy, red-rimmed eyes. She was hurting, maybe even scared since fear liked to masquerade behind anger.

And I was struggling with this from a place where I’d had a secure upbringing.

She’d grown up knowing nothing was secure. This situation would be like her childhood fears rising all over again. Fear didn’t live with rational thinking, either. If she was scared, then my responsibility was to be unshaken and secure, for her.

And our boy.

I forced my body to relax. Her narrowed eyes tracked the line of my shoulders.

“Can’t make it easy if you take off every time things get tough.”

“Easy?” Her whole face tightened, and she scoffed. “How are you going to make this easy?”

“If it’s mine–”

Another scoff fell between us and pissed me off. I wrestled the annoyance down. This whole situation was the worst possible surprise when I knew she didn’t like being broadsided. If our situations were reversed, I’d be scared and pissed off, too.

“If it’s mine, I can be as no contact with her as possible. Use one of those coparenting apps.”

Shane and Krista had one because they couldn’t be in the same space without sniping. It seemed to work for them, so I’d been looking at them when I had a moment during the day. The research gave me something concrete to think about instead of our empty bed and too-quiet house. Instead of how she wasn’t where she was supposed to be, how she might not come back to me.

“I can do my visitation at Mama and Daddy’s.” The idea made me a little nauseated. Coney was a small town. How was I supposed to raise two kids who would be siblings without them ever knowing one another?

Something pained flitted over her face.

I swallowed, my voice dropping to a rough whisper. “I know it’s a lot.”

That small snort had to burn her nose. “You have no idea.”

Well, yeah, I kinda did, but I wasn’t saying that out loud. She could walk if it was too hard, so I’d be coparenting twice.

She could choose easy and leave.

I had no choice but to walk the hard rows.

And looked like I might be walking those long, hard rows alone.

The idea hollowed out my chest and made the backs of my eyes burn.

“I’m moving into the guest room.”

I nodded. Really, what had I expected? To come home and find her waiting for me with open arms in our room? I was disappointed, but not surprised. At least she was here.

A hint of disappointment flickered through her eyes when I didn’t argue.

A quiet sigh shuddered free of my chest. “Hungry?”