Page 38 of Nothing At All

“Okay. Okay.” Stephanie repeated the word like a mantra, like she was calming herself as much as she was agreeing with him. “Joshua? Jay? You will call me if anything–”

“Yes, ma’am.” Dr. Mackey’s voice dropped to a soothing promise. “I sure will.”

“Okay. Lila?”

“Yes?”

“I’m here if you need anything. You call me.”

“I will.” I didn’t have her number, but I could get that. And that seemed like a small enough promise to make. I didn’t know what I was doing in any of this, but I could make a phone call.

With an I love you to Dan and assurances she’d be home as soon as she could get out of Boston, where she’d been all week for training, she ended the call.

Dr. Mackey probed Dan’s nose with gentle fingers, nodding when he got no reaction. “Let’s take care of that nose.”

Dan flexed his fingers on mine. “Can she stay?”

“If you like.” Dr. Mackey quirked a brow in inquiry, his blue eyes steady on my face. “You want to?”

No. I’d never seen anyone like this, never seen anyone bloodied and bruised because of another person’s violence. I’d visited my mother in the hospital after a minor surgery, but that had been nothing like this.

But he was holding on to my fingers and walking out was wrong.

I swallowed against the lump holding my throat hostage. “Of course.”

Josh left, boots a quiet thud on the tile. Dan closed his eyes while the nurse removed the packing in his nostrils. Dr. Mackey lowered the rails on his side of the bed and leaned over, a metal object like an old-school shoehorn in his hand. My stomach clenched when he placed the thin end inside Dan’s nose, testing the bridge of his nose with a gloved hand.

A crunch snapped through the air. I flinched, bile pushing up my throat.

Dr. Mackey palpated his nose again. “I’m going to try that one more time.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I cringed, anticipating that awful sound. Did that hurt him at all? My stomach pitched. What if I threw up? I did not need to be a distraction here. He hadn’t even moved during the procedure, so maybe he didn’t feel any of this. I folded my fingers more closely about his, finding his fingertips chilled but his palm warm.

This time, the snap wasn’t as loud or extreme. Dr. Mackey stepped back with a satisfied hum. “Izzy will get that packed and splinted, but it looks good.”

Minutes later, the nurse withdrew, and the room lay quiet, the lights dimmed. Dan slipped into a doze, and I perched on the edge of the chair nearest the bed. The sharp tang of disinfectant mingled with the rubbery essence of gloves. Beyond the closed door, voices murmured, wheels squeaking on the floor.

I watched his face while he slept, the rushed feeling so heavy with adrenaline and fear ebbing away, leaving me shaky and ashamed.

Here there was only me and him, the soft hush of his breathing, the click of his IV, and the occasional buzz of his blood pressure cuff.

A trembling breath worked up from my lungs and bled out in a low sob. I didn’t know how to do this.

I’d do it, though, so his mom was at peace. So he was at peace.

I was pretty sure Josh and Vic and the medical staff saw right through me, though.

He was my boyfriend. We were dating, but I hadn’t looked at this relationship as anything with a serious endgame. I’d thought only that we’d be together, enjoy one another – laugh and have good sex and spend good time together.

And eventually go our separate ways.

Except he wanted me when he was hurt.

Held on to me like I was everything.

This was nothing at all like what I’d expected.

And in our months together, I’d never slowed down to think about his job. Oh, I saw the stress sometimes, in the tense set of his shoulders or the small lines about his eyes. I appreciated how he looked in uniform, that air of authority he exuded.