Page 94 of Power of Shadow

Except Ryker isn’t just some man.

“I didn’t know you had a romantic streak, you know,” I joke.

With a small, lazy smile, he says, “Neither did I. A lot of things are new to me with you.”

I snuggle closer to him. “Same here. You said it was also a curse. I don’t understand that.”

Ryker is silent for a long moment. Finally, he takes a deep breath and starts to speak. “I loved and love Aisling with all my heart, as much as a person like me is capable of loving another human being. Her arrival in this world was like a ray of sunshine for me and my mother. It was completely different for my father. We never had a normal childhood, family moments, happy vacations, or holidays with the whole family. Our home was different. My father has always been driven by a hunger for power, money, and control.

“The Pact isn’t just an organization he runs; the Pact has always been in his blood. As long as everything went according to his plan, our home was calmer. But if the opposite was true—no matter what—the goal must be achieved. By any means necessary. If we didn’t want to comply willingly, he would enforce order through manipulation, force, and violence. The house was like his private theater, and we were his puppets.”

“Ryker—” I start, though I don’t know what to say. A lump grows in my throat; my voice catches.

“Don’t feel sorry for me. I can’t bear to see it in your eyes. Aisling changed everything. The world seemed more beautiful. Mom was happy, and I finally had a sibling. Father was doing his thing. I made a mistake that cost us all—the three of us—everything. I was thirteen when Father finally put me in line, where he needed me. I stood up once again to defend my mother, whom he’d almost killed that day. I traded her life for mine, except I was old enough to take care of myself. Wasn’t going to owe him anything, and he took the blows from my fist. I shouldn’t have stopped then; I should have killed him. The next day, he took Aisling from the house and sent her abroad.”

Frightened, I lean on his shoulder and look. Ryker’s eyes are open, but I suspect he’s somewhere else entirely. He’s there in that terrible house with a tyrant for a father.

“What did he do to her?” I ask, my voice trembling.

“Recently, I found out that he was holding her captive in Spain. Since then, Aisling’s life has been hanging over my head like a hangman’s ax. Every time I disobey his orders, her life hangs in the balance, and on good days, he feeds me the hope of contact with Aisling as a reward for good behavior.”

“That’s why you’re at the beck and call of the Pact,” I piece together.

“Yes. At the command of the Pact and my father.”

“Do you know what’s happening to her? Is she okay?”

“Honestly, I have no idea.” The pain in his voice is clear. “She’s gone. Aisling escaped and disappeared. Until yesterday, I didn’t even know what she looked like. My father doesn’t know that I’m aware she escaped from the prison he provided for her. Money and connections have been useless for many years, and I’ve been looking for her all over the damn world. Only recently has something changed. Yesterday at the gala, we were arguing, so to keep me in line, he showed me a photo of her on his phone.”

I’d caught that moment. I saw it, but I wasn’t aware of what was going on.

Ryker continues, “She’s grown into a beautiful woman. I doubted what I was seeing, because either the photo was taken before she ran away, or he got her again. I honestly have no idea. At this point, he could show me a photo downloaded from the web, and I’d probably believe it was my sister.”

I feel, hear, and see his pain. It breaks my heart.

“It’s not your fault, Ryker. You didn’t take her away from home, from her mother and brother. You tried to protect them at all costs.”

“No? Are you sure? Whose fault is it then? My actions led to this. My father found my weakness and used it against me. Aisling didn’t have a childhood because of me. He stole her from people who would have given their lives for her. I can’t even imagine what she went through.”

I adjust myself in bed, sit up, and turn toward Ryker. His eyes are filled with haunting memories. “You told me the exact same thing yesterday. I literally killed my mother, and you still didn’t see me as guilty. You did nothing to make your sister suffer. It’s your father’s fault, Ryker, not yours. You couldn’t have known he would do something so cruel. From what I’ve seen of you, I know you won’t give up looking for her until you find her. And your mother?”

“She’s dead. At some point, she had an affair with one of my father’s closest associates. I can’t call him a friend because he doesn’t have any. He was his confidant, and because of him, my mother died. Father spared his life, but he excluded him from the Pact, from all his acquaintances, from prosperity, from everything. However, his punishment didn’t compare to that of my mother. He shot her in front of me.”

“Holy shit,” I sigh, rubbing my face with hands. I can’t wrap my head around all this.

All the pain he went through as a child and teenager—I feel it inside me as if it were my own.

My hands shake, and I try so hard to keep my emotions in check. Although I just want to... I don’t know.

“Do you see now why it’s not safe for you to be involved with me? I get selfish around you, I can’t help it. You’ve been getting under my skin since we first met. If I were a better man, I’d stay away from you. I’m like a spreading poison…”

“That’s why you were so tense at the gala when your father approached us,” I guess. He nods.

“He can’t find out how much you mean to me. If he does eventually, he’ll want to use it against me. I won’t survive something like that a second time.”

“What are you going to do about Aisling now? Is there anything I can do to help?”

Ryker sighs, looking deep into my eyes. “I’m still looking for her. I’m also looking for my father’s weakness. To beat him at this fucked-up game, I have to play by his rules.”