Page 111 of Miss Wylde and the Wynd

They ate in silence for the longest time because Georgie was not certain what to say. No topic came to her mind because her thoughts were on Damian, her heart, and how much she was going to miss him. Emotions that she would keep secreted away. He did not need the burden of her love when they would part in but a few days. It was hers alone to carry because he considered her only as a friend and lover.

After they had finished eating, Damian set the tray with the plates and utensils on the table and refilled their teacups before he returned to the bed and lounged against propped pillows as she was sitting.

“Are you ever afraid of being lonely,” Damian asked quietly.

“It is not something I think about. Why?”

“I always knew that I would never wed. It would be unfair to a wife and children because I would never be home. By remaining a bachelor, the time that I would be at home would be lonely. But to marry would be selfish.”

“I suppose it would be,” she said after a moment, but it also wasn’t a certainty. “But you do not know your future.”

“Ah, but I am afraid that I do.”

There was such a sadness…depression in his tone.

“I never told you about my mother, did I.”

“No.” Georgie had assumed that she had died since Damian had only spoken of his father.

“She lives at Wyndview Farm, in the Cape Colony.” Damian took a sip of his tea. “I have not seen her in eleven years.”

First his brother, Elliot, who he hadn’t seen in five years and now his mother in all that time. “Why?”

“Because she was lonely,” he answered simply. “I recall how it was in the Cape Colony, growing up on the vineyard, running, playing and time spent with our tutor. That was where we were to live for the remainder of our life and Sterling would take over. I suppose I could have left and done something else, but I was only ten when we had to sail to England, so I had no true plans for my future.”

She supposed that he wouldn’t at that age, especially since he was the second born of a younger son.

“Once we arrived in England, Sterling, Elliot, and I were sent off to school. Jules the following year and two years later Avery. In three years, all five of us were in school and only home for a few holidays. Mother had been used to us being underfoot but in three short years she was alone.”

“What of friends or neighbors?”

“Mother was a stranger to England. She had been born and raised in the Cape Colony. She had hoped that Father would make introductions, but he never had time. Between the earldom and Trade Wynd, all aspects that he had to manage on his own, he never had time for Mother. She grew lonely. Then the time came that Father needed to return to the Cape Colony and took mother along. As we were in school, we did not go. By that time, we were old enough and had friends that we could share holidays with until our parents returned.”

“Except they did not,” Georgie guessed quietly.

“Father did, but Mother did not.”

She could not imagine being away from her family for eleven years, especially when a husband was absent and there were no true friends to call on.

“Has she written?” Georgie almost didn’t ask because it was bad enough that she was gone, but what if she also ignored her children.

“We have shared a regular correspondence. I am apprised of her life and she is of mine.”

“Still, I am certain that you miss her.”

“I do, at times, and I would like to see her again, I have just never had the opportunity to be gone from Trade Wynd for so long.”

“And that is the reason you will never wed. You fear that a wife will suffer as your mother did,” Georgie concluded, realizing why he had decided on bachelorhood.

“She would never see me and would grow lonely and feel neglected. I could not do that to any woman, which is why I anticipate being lonely in my later years.”

“If you married a woman from England, she would already have friends, and family, that she could visit. You would not be the only person she knows.”

“True,” he answered with a smile. “However, it is not an Englishwoman I want.”

Georgie nearly sucked in a breath but silently chastised herself. Damian could mean anyone. Just because they were lovers did not mean he wanted a further or deeper relationship with her.

He rose from the bed, took her empty teacup. After he placed all dishes from their breakfast on the tray, including the teacups and teapot, he slid the empty tray under the full one then lifted them both. “I will return after I have delivered these to the galley.”