Page 29 of Miss Understanding

“Do you think running away would be too obvious?” he asked quickly.

The fear etched on his face was comical. “Probably. You need a rescue?”

“Yes. Anything to keep this impending conversation as short as humanly possible.”

“Oh, yeah. Anything?”

“Anything.”

He seemed desperate. Desperate enough to tempt me to walk off and leave him alone. But my next thought was to mess with him a bit. He wanted a favor. He’d get it. But with a price. After all, he’d thought I was trying to catch myself a husband by cooking for him. “You got it, babe. Now put your arm around me and pretend to like me.”

“What?” He simply stared at me as if I’d grown a second head, so I took the initiative and put my arm around him.

The fiery redhead, in a cheetah-print dress with heavy makeup, squealed, causing my fake boyfriend to cringe.

“It is you. I wondered if you’d be back in town for your daddy’s funeral. How are you, handsome?”

“Uh, good, Tonya. How are you?”

“Great. You know, I got divorced a few months back.” Her gaze traveled down his body like she had every intention of making him husband number two.

“I wasn’t aware.”

She then seemed to notice me. “Who’s this?”

I stuck out my hand. “I’m his girlfriend, Kendall.”

She frowned, popping her gum several times instead of taking my hand. Okay. Miss Manners she was not.

“I ran into your mom last week at the post office, and she didn’t say you had a girlfriend.”

“Yeah, well. It’s all very new,” he stuttered.

So much for being any good at this game. Frankly, he sucked at it.

“You know Liam and I dated in high school. Went to prom together. Had quite the night, remember?”

I could practically feel the repulsive shiver go through him. I had to stifle my laughter at his expense. But then I realized if I was actually his girlfriend, her words would be offensive. “He never talks about high school since it was so long ago. Anyhoo, nice to meet you, Tonya. Have a good night.”

“Oh. Yeah. I mean sure. You, too.” She seemed put out when we were ready to move on.

Liam was already two steps ahead, moving quickly toward the drug aisle while I asked, “What’s your poison? Tylenol, Motrin, Advil?”

“Advil is fine.” Once we were stopped and alone, he asked, “What was that back there?”

I quirked my head to the side. “You said, and I quote, you would do anything to keep the conversation short. You’re welcome, by the way.” I quickly shut up because approaching was none other than Tonya again.

She gave him a seductive smile. “I realized I left without giving you my card. It has my new contact information on it.”

My boss stiffened but stood still while she gave him the card. I noticed her hand lingered on his as if she wanted to be sure to put that little added touch in there. Then she walked off with an extra shake to her hips.

“Her card?”

He flipped it over and sighed, showing me the back.

“If you get bored and want a real woman, call me.”

Jealousy and a healthy dose of rage hit me all of a sudden. I had to remind myself that I wasn’t in fact his girlfriend.