Page 112 of Tell Me Something

“Not what I had in mind,” he protested, kissing my neck.

“I can’t keep sharing with you, Josh, and get nothing in return.” I turned and faced him.

“I didn’t want to pile my shit on top of yours. You have enough on your plate without dealing with my crap.” He was unprepared for me to scramble out of the bed.

I stood just outside of his reach. “Try again. Was it when I told you how I felt about you that first night?” Had those three little words spooked him?

“It wasn’t that.” He ran a hand through his hair as he sat up in the bed. I tried not to let the fact that he had an erection distract me.

“Was it telling your brother about us? You wondered why I was awkward about that whole scene, and I’ll tell you it’s because I knew it would affect us going forward. That you’d get weird.”

“Would you please get back into bed? Just let me hold you, and I’ll figure out how to say this.”

I reluctantly returned to bed and let him snuggle me into his arms, my back to his chest, where I waited him out.

Finally, he sighed. “I’ll just start with my week since that’s easier. I received the call on Sunday night while we were in Vegas that the driver I’d had when I was a kid had passed away. He was with me up until three years ago when he retired. I left for the Keys on Monday night. The viewing was Tuesday and the funeral on Wednesday. My mom and Colby came, too. It was expected, but still rough. And then my ex showed up, which was completely unforeseen.”

I had to bite my tongue and measure my response carefully. “When was the last time you’d seen her?”

“Three years ago.”

I had a million questions I wanted to ask, starting with why she would’ve been there in the first place. I could only handle one issue at a time, however, so I chose to leave that alone for now. “Tell me about your friend.”

He spent the next few minutes telling me about his longtime family driver and then was quiet. “I wish he’d had more time to enjoy his retirement.”

“Sounds like an amazing guy. I’m really sorry.” I paused and then pressed on. “So after the funeral you went back up to Virginia with your mom?”

“Yeah, where I met her new boyfriend.”

“That must have been tough.” I kept my comment simple, letting him choose what he wanted to tell me.

“He was all right. My brother had met him before. It’s strange to see her with someone. But he’s the first guy she’s dated, and it’s been ten years, so I don’t know why I let it bother me.”

“It would be hard at any point of time to see your parent with someone new. You’re entitled to your feelings.” I yawned and felt his kiss on my hairline.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Not asking questions about my ex.”

“Mm, you know that I really want to ask why she was there.”

He sighed. “She once told me that she spent more time with our driver than me during our marriage. I think she had a fondness for him, but I really couldn’t say, and I didn’t ask her.”

I was grateful that he shared this fact with me. Flipping around to face him, I kissed his neck. “Sounds like a rough week,” I commented lightly, waiting for more.

He reached out, stroking my face. “It was, and I feel terrible that I was the last to know that you got into all of the schools you applied to.”

“I would’ve told you had you called.”

“I thought about it multiple times,” he said lamely.

“It hurt my feelings that you would go from not being able to spend a night away from me to going to a funeral for someone you cared about and not even telling me what happened. I know this is short term. I’ve accepted that, but the 180 degree turn was really abrupt. I’d like to know why.”

“I’ll admit that it was weird after Colby found out. Maybe I panicked a little. The rest really comes down to self-preservation. I know this is short term, too, which is why not being able to be away from you for a night isn’t the direction we should be taking things. I’m not looking forward to ending this.”

I let out a breath. “Okay, I can understand that.” And I did. We both didn’t want to change one another or our long-term goals. Yet the thought of breaking things off in just a few months hurt like hell. “So you needed some distance to put things back into perspective?”