Page 134 of Tell Me Something

I had an epiphany. “All this time I’ve been beating myself up for not being able to get past my hang-up so I could be with you. But we’re not so different. We both have trust issues. I don’t trust that someone I love won’t let me down and abandon me. And you never really trusted that I wouldn’t do exactly what your ex did. The only difference is I was finally honest about my shortcomings. You were just moving forward, hoping that nothing ever triggered yours again.”

“I can have my car take you to Will’s place. It’s downstairs. It would be best if you left now.”

I swallowed hard. “Thanks for proving my fear was not unfounded, Josh.” I turned and walked away. There was nothing left to say.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I didn’t remember much about the train ride home. Numbly, I went through the motions, grateful when the cab dropped me off so I could go through my front door and finally curl up on my couch. The sobs started and led to getting sick in the bathroom. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I had to get myself together for the sake of the baby. But in this moment, all I could manage was to sit on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet and lay my head on the cool side of the tub, closing my eyes.

I heard someone’s voice calling my name. When I finally looked up, I saw Mark framing the bathroom door.

After taking one look at me, he cursed and knelt at my side. “Jesus, Haylee, do we need to go to the ER?” He pushed my hair out of my face and studied me.

I shook my head. “No, no. It’s mostly hormones and the other part stress. I’m fine. Please don’t take offense, Mark, but I just need to be by myself for now.”

“Like hell I’m leaving you.”

The sobs started again, and I felt his arms go around me. I leaned into him and, finally, after a few minutes, calmed enough for him to talk.

“Come on out to the sofa. I brought you some soup and crackers.”

He settled me out in the living room before heading into the kitchen to make a phone call. I took a few tentative sips of soup. My stomach growled, and I sighed, knowing I needed to force it down. If not for myself, then for the baby.

I looked over toward the kitchen and could hear Mark’s quiet voice, but I wasn’t able to make out the words. I wondered if he was talking to Josh.

He walked back and handed me a ginger ale, then took a seat next to me. “I have someone coming over I’d like you to talk to.”

“Who?”

“His name is Dr. Mark MacNally, or Dr. Mac, as he prefers. He isn’t too bad as far as shrinks go, and he specializes in grief counseling.”

I shook my head. “I don’t need anyone for that, Mark. My mom has been dead for over a year now, my father for five.”

“I’ll tell you from experience that it isn’t always that simple. We need people, Haylee. As much as we want to deal with things by ourselves, we can’t always. My fiancée died seven years ago, and I still have trouble sometimes. There’s no such thing as an expiration date on grief.”

The surprise of his admission must have shown on my face. I wasn’t aware he’d ever had a fiancée, let alone that she had died.

“I’m guessing Josh didn’t tell you. He’s good that way,” Mark said, sighing.

Shaking my head, I murmured, “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t share it with a lot of people. The point is that when I saw you on that bathroom floor, I could see myself once upon a time. Normally I wouldn’t push this, but considering what’s going on right now, I think you need to talk to someone sooner rather than later. You have the baby to think about.”

“You spoke with Josh, I take it?”

“I did. He’s worried about you.”

I couldn’t help scoffing. “He told me to go see Will, who he thinks is the father of the baby. I don’t think worried is a word I’d use.”

“He reacted badly, I know. I got that impression just from what he told me. But Will called him to check on you, and I believe he had a few choice words for Josh.”

“Great. It’s like a Jerry Springer episode in the making,” I muttered.

He gave me a sympathetic smile. “When Dr. Mac gets here, I’ll head home to get some stuff, and then I’ll be back. I’m going to sleep on the sofa tonight, all right?”

I shook my head. “Look, Mark, I get that Josh wants you to look after me, but—”

He interrupted. “He asked me to check on you. This I’m doing for you, one friend to another. Dr. Mac coming over isn’t anything I’m letting him know about, either. This is about getting you to feel better. Okay?”