Page 45 of Miss Treated

“Scared of him or scared of growing closer to him?”

“All of the above. Mostly I’m scared to trust my judgment. But Nic is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. He’s overwhelming yet patient. Cocky but sweet. And he seems to be content with friendship for now. What if I can never trust again?”

Her face was empathetic. “I’ve always thought there are two types of trust. One comes from the behavior of other people. You trust what Dominic says to be true when he lives up to your expectation of that trust. The other kind of trust is based in yourself. Knowing you can make good decisions based on the information in front of you. You can listen to your doubts and revise as necessary. Kelsey, you never lost that. Trust in your gut and in yourself is what impelled you to leave Joel.”

“It took me years to leave him,” I murmured, thinking of all the times I should’ve done so earlier.

I’d conditioned myself to accommodate him. To smooth things over even if it meant an apology for something I didn’t do. I’d often thought it was my job as his partner to be his cheerleader, to be there for him despite the cost. In return, he’d not only tell me I was crazy, he’d also dismiss my thoughts and feelings constantly, to the point where I thought none of them were valid. Then just when I’d start to wonder if the relationship was healthy, he’d love bomb me. Flowers, over-the-top romantic gestures, seemingly genuine affection. Particularly in front of others. Those public displays were his specialty. I remembered telling my mother I had some doubts about him, and she’d been aghast. Because she’d only seen what he’d wanted people to see. The smokescreen with him as the “best” boyfriend and me as the “lucky” girl to be with him.

“Again with the time frame. Bottom line is you got out, Kelsey. You got help. You can still trust in your internal process. We can’t control other people and whether they choose to break our trust, but we can avoid blaming ourselves for their assholery.”

I chuckled at her new word. She had a point, yet I couldn’t help beating myself up for staying in an unhealthy relationship. “I’m afraid of how Dominic would look at me if he knew everything.” About my “incident,” the hospitalization, and of course the need to combat depression on a daily basis with medication.

“You’re putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself to reveal your history. Your past isn’t something you owe him or anyone. You’re not a damaged car with a Carfax history that is his business. All the past made up the pieces of you, and it’s you he’s now interested in. Period.”

Again, she was right. I didn’t owe anyone my history. “Thanks, Ruby. I like the idea of taking things slow. Getting to know him.” Learning how to trust him, and myself.

She smiled. “Good. Go as slow as you need. Now onto your mother. I’m very concerned about her passing on information about your location to your ex.”

“Me too.” My phone indicated it had missed calls from her, but I’d yet to listen to the voicemails or call her back. “She broke my trust.”

“She did. We’ve talked about boundaries with her before. How are you feeling now?”

“Betrayed. And angry. Yet my first inclination isn’t to confront her but to avoid her calls.” Dealing with Joel had been a lot. Dealing with my mother within the same twenty-four-hour period was overwhelming.

“Then avoid her calls. Remember, you set the limits. I’ll plan on seeing you next week at our scheduled time, or if you want to call before then, please do so.”

“Thanks, Ruby.”

Chapter Twenty

Dominic

I woke up feeling much better—a full seventy percent at least. This had been my reaction since I was a kid. I remembered all of the trips from New York to LA, when I was already sick from the leukemia, and I’d throw up on the car ride from the airport to my grandmother’s. Now it was like my body was saying, “Oh, this. I remember this. You will be sick the moment you step on a plane, and your body will shut down.”

One more reason I could never take the reins from my father as the CEO of Chambers Tech. He traveled all the time. I scrubbed a hand over my face and peered at the bottom of my bed. Lady wasn’t there. Then I remembered Kelsey was here, in my condo.

Panicked, I glanced at my phone. It was after five o’clock. Shit, I’d been out four and a half hours. I quickly went into my bathroom, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. God, I looked pale, but there was nothing I could do about it. She’d seen me at my worst; I could only hope I didn’t scare her off.

My condo was quiet when I opened my bedroom door. I stepped out and checked the guest room across the hall. No Kelsey. No suitcase. Walking out to the living room, I spotted Lady in her bed by my desk, but still no Kelsey. Shit, if I’d somehow blown this, I’d never forgive myself. No sign of her on the balcony, and no sign of any of her things.

I pulled out my phone and dialed, only to look up when the front door opened.

She walked through with two grocery bags and what appeared to be a take-out bag.

“Hi, were you calling me?” she asked with a smile, setting the bags on the counter along with my house keys.

“Yeah. I thought you’d left.”

“I did. I had to get to the store and thought I’d pick up dinner, so you didn’t feel like you had to cook tonight. I got soup and sandwiches. It’s nothing fancy, but I wasn’t sure what you’d like.” She turned her back toward the countertop, biting her lip as if I might criticize her choice of dinner.

“What I like is you being in my place and having dinner with me. Beyond that, I don’t care what we eat or drink. Unless of course you got me mushroom soup, in which case I’m revising my statement.”

“Not a fan of mushrooms?”

“Mushrooms are my culinary kryptonite.”

“Mm, and what is your regular kryptonite?”