Page 43 of The Duke Who Claimed Her

Were this the old Arabella, she might have left it there. But this last week had seen her change significantly. She was no longer meek and willing to be told what to do. She was no longer the type to simply bow her head and follow along. She was a duchess, had control over her own life, and was not about to sit back and do nothing. To let the moment pass when she wanted it so badly.

Yes, there was an irony, she realized. That while she was so determined to be in control of her life, she also wanted Caspian to control her. But such dualities mattered little, so she pushed that thought to the back of her mind and hurried from the carriage.

By the time she entered the manor, Caspian was already halfway across the foyer.

“Where are you going?” she called after him.

He stopped at the staircase and did not turn around. “To bed, Arabella. Tonight… was a mistake.”

“What was a mistake?” She hurried toward him.

“All of it,” he said, his voice dark and low. “We should not have attended. We should not have… pretended, as we did. And I ought to have controlled myself better.”

“No,” she said as she came in behind him. She thought to touch him on the shoulders, but resisted that urge. “You did exactly as you should have done. Lord Carlisle overstepped, and you… You helped me, Caspian.”

He flinched at the comment. “You did not need saving.”

“I did,” she said. “And it was not the first time.”

“Do you even want such a thing? Is that not the entire point? I have seen how you have grown into yourself here, Arabella. You are not the subservient daughter whom I married, nor are you someone who needs me to save her. You are better off alone.”

“And what if I do not want to be alone? Did you think of that?”

He still did not look at her, but she could sense the conflict raging within. “We had an agreement, one that you demanded. Tonight I overstepped, but it will not happen again. I promise you.”

“You did not overstep, Caspian. You did as any husband would⁠—”

“I am not your husband,” he hissed, and she flinched. “Not like that, not such that I ought to care. It is easier that way, Arabella. Please, just… be glad that we have nothing to do with one another. It is for the best.” With those words said, he started up the steps.

She watched him go, desperate to make him stop.

Arabella knew now that Caspian wanted her, that there was a part of him that wanted this marriage and all that went with it. But he was so determined to deny that side of himself, even scared of what it might mean. She did not know the reason, but she knew how to make him change his mind. Or rather, she knew how to unlock that side that he fought against so furiously.

“I…” Her voice cracked. “I did not give you permission to walk away.”

Caspian was halfway up the stairs when he stopped. Her words struck him, seeming to grab him by the back of the neck so that his hackles stood on end. She felt the fire burn from him, the anger rise, and she held her breath…

“What did you say?” he growled.

She swallowed. “I said, I did not give you permission to walk away. Something happened tonight, Caspian, and I want to know what. You did not step in to save me because of appearances. You did it because you wanted to. Because you… Because you care.”

“I… That is not true.”

She scoffed. “It is true. You care, and you hate that you do. Now, come back and speak to me about it.”

“No,” he said darkly.

“Yes,” she fired back. “Now.”

“You…” He took a deep breath. “You do not tell me what to do, Arabella.”

“That is exactly what I am doing,” she said bravely, even as her body trembled with anticipation. “And I would like to know, what are you going to do about it?”

Her dream was not real, but that did not mean it was not born from truth. She had seen it the night of their wedding, when he had come to her. Caspian liked control… He liked to be in charge, and he hated being told what to do.

And while he no doubt wanted to forget about her, to pretend that he had that ability, she knew that the chance to control her, to remind her of her place… That was one thing he could not resist. Was it born from a need to protect? Was it a result of having no control over other facets of his life? Or was it merely him, something he could not change, a part of himself that he had no control over?

Really, with how Arabella felt, she did not care. She just wanted it.