Page 61 of Second Chances

Fifteen minutes later, Charlotte joined Amy outside the school entrance. “Well? How’s my goddaughter?”

“Fine,” Charlotte wiped her eyes, “but I’m not so sure about her mother.”

“What time is your first class?” Amy’s query added another rubber band to the ball in her stomach.

Charlotte paused and then replied, “Eleven.” Was this a terrible idea, starting college now, at twenty-three? She’d vowed that as soon as Isobel started school, she would, too, but maybe it was too soon? Since the day she’d registered for her classes, she’d felt selfish, and Brady hadn’t helped, often insinuating that she should hold off another year, that Isobel needed her waiting at home during her first year of school. Too easy to believe one year postponed would turn into five years, she had gone ahead with her original plan.

“Perfect. Come with me.” After ushering her into the passenger seat of her brand-new Mazda Miata, Amy handed Charlotte a Hardee’s bag, pointed to the styrofoam cups in the console, then put her car in drive.

“Is this a loaded omelette biscuit?” Taking a bite of her breakfast, Charlotte gasped, savoring the flaky, buttery biscuit piled high with sausage, bacon, and cheese, all enfolded in fluffy eggs. “You shouldn’t have, since I’m still trying to lose at least thirty pounds, but thank you.” During her pregnancy, Charlotte had gained over fifty pounds, but everyone had assured her the weight would come off once Isobel was born, then once Isobel started nursing, then once Isobel walked, but the fat had refused to listen. Although Brady never complained, Charlotte couldn’t help but wonder if her weight was keeping her from being more intimate with her husband. Their sex life now had neither the steam nor the intensity compared to when they were teenagers having sex illicitly in her childhood bedroom.

“Stop, you’re absolute perfection.” Amy pulled the car into a parking spot at the Sergeant Floyd Monument, an obelisk overlooking the Missouri River. Dedicated to Charles Floyd, a member of the Lewis and Clark Expedition who died in 1804, it had always represented freedom to Amy and Charlotte, who used to go up there to plot their escape from Sioux City once they were old enough. “Don’t tell me Brady’s been commenting on your weight.” Amy held up one of the cups, reading the lid before passing it to Charlotte. “Here you go—got you extra cream in your coffee, just the way you like it.”

“Thanks.” She tugged at her top, wishing for more room between it and her stomach. “No, he hasn’t said anything, but he can’t be happy.”

“Screw him, then. The only thing that matters is how you feel! From my vantage point, you are gorgeous.” Amy grabbed her own breasts, laughing, “I wish my boobs were as big as yours. ‘Not all of us were meant to be tall and thin’. Isn’t that what your mom always said?”

“I miss her so much, Ames. Sometimes, when Isobel is in the right light, I can see my mom in her. The way she used to tilt her head when she asked a question-”

“Or the way she frowned if no one else wanted ice cream.” Amy grinned at Charlotte. No one loved ice cream more than Saloma Sherk, and she’d passed her love for it on to her granddaughter.

“I guess I should just be thankful that Isobel got five years with my parents, huh?”

“They adored that kid so much. You were lucky to have them,” Amy said, and Charlotte grew solemn. Amy had never known her own father, and her mother had struggled as a single mom for years. In fact, Amy had spent so much time at Charlotte’s house when they were in grade school that Jacob and Saloma had called her their second daughter.

Memories rushed over her, making her wistful. “Remember the last time we were up here, Ames?” savoring the coffee her friend had brought. Amy so often knew what she needed.

“How could I forget? We came straight from Casey’s after you peed on the stick.”

“You had to buy the pregnancy test because I was too terrified to do it.”

“You would’ve had me take it for you, too, if it had made sense.”

“I don’t think I ever thanked you for bringing me up here so we could wait for the results.” She shuddered. “The last place I wanted to find out was in a gas station.” Looking at Amy, she marveled, for the millionth time, how their friendship could have fallen apart after that summer, with the changes in their lives. Their bond had only gotten stronger. “You were the first person to know.”

“I was probably as terrified as you, but you kept yelling, ‘Just tell me! Just tell me!’ Bitch wouldn’t even read her own pregnancy test.” Both doubled over in giggles.

“We were so young. Brady was so pissed that you found out before he did.”

“Poor dude. Still hasn’t gotten over playing second fiddle, has he? First to me, then to Issy.”

“Have you been listening in on our fights, then?” Charlotte finished her biscuit before adding, “You know, he tried to talk me out of today.”

Amy shook her head and smirked. “What? You mean taking Issy to school?”

“No…college.”

“What the actual fuck? Are you kidding?” Amy shook her head again. Charlotte had a difficult time believing it herself. “I can’t believe him! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What could I say? He thinks it’s too much for me, that I haven’t properly grieved for my parents. And maybe I haven’t, but today has given me something to look forward to, especially with Isobel starting kindergarten. Honestly, I feel like I’d been losing Mom and Dad for years, each of them so sick, on and off, for so long.” Charlotte’s throat tightened talking about her parents, the kindest souls who had ever lived. They’d been lenient with her growing up, with fewer rules and more independence than she should have had, but all from a place of love. Grief overtook her, and she doubled over, crying. She would never talk to her mom on the phone again, her voice always laced with quiet support, and her dad was never going to surprise her with caramel rolls when she was having a bad day.

“Oh, Lottie, I know it hasn’t been easy, first losing your mom and then your dad. But they wanted this for you—they always thought you should get your degree.” Charlotte’s mom had been the one to help her decide to major in English, with her dad nudging her toward teaching. Before becoming a mother, Charlotte hadn’t known what her future would hold; too often with her head in the clouds. Once Isobel was born, she had no choice but to be realistic, with neither the time nor the headspace to dream.

Wiping tears away, Charlotte admitted, “It’s not just about my parents, though. Brady is worried that college is going to change me.”

“Are you kidding me? Of course you’re going to change—it’s part of growing up…I mean, look at me: Miss Responsibility now that I’m a nurse. I’m letting men chase me for once.” Amy’s tone lightened in the way it had so frequently this past year as she coaxed Charlotte from her misery. “I haven’t even told you yet about the hot radiologist who asked me out for dinner this weekend. God, Lottie, he is so fine. He could be the one.” Charlotte snickered. Amy had met “The One” at least a dozen times since working at the hospital. Amy turned the radio down as a Smashing Pumpkins song blasted. “Back to Brady, though—he had his time when he was in college to change. He matured. Mostly.”

“What if we grow apart?” Charlotte’s voice quivered. “What if I meet new people?”