Page 140 of Darkest Obsession

“Our relationship?” I ask her.

“Yeah, I know it’s corny. You can forget I said anything.”

I drag her closer to me by the hand before she can pull away and that soft version of Clover disappears forever. I’m not letting this girl go. Never.

“No,” I tell her. “Clover Robinson, I want you to be my girlfriend.”

“With a label on it and everything?”

“Yes, with a label on it. I don’t want you falling in love with someone else. Like that dance fellow… Roger.”

Clover rolls her eyes. “Roger? No way.”

“I seem to recall him having an interest in you.”

I want to reach out and touch her. Hold her. Tell her that I couldn’t stand it if any other man even looked at her.

“I think you’re jealous,” Clover teases. Fuck. I must be so transparent. It isn’t like me.

“Of who? Him? Jude? Kit?”

Clover scowls. “You don’t have to keep going with the slut thing.”

“That’s not what I meant. I just… You’re beautiful. Naturally, I have to fight off a lot of suitors.”

Clover punches me in the stomach, probably for being so backwards and misogynistic.

“You’re annoying,” she says.

“So are you my girlfriend then?”

“Yes,” she says. “I guess. But we should probably go on a real date before we make it official.”

A date. I’d love to take Clover on dates. Expensive dates. I’d love to see her in a dress, even if I doubt she’d wear one.

“During finals week?” I ask her, hoping I can have a little notice. Clover flashes me a half smile and then shakes her head.

“No way, school comes first.”

I grin at her. I have a suggestion. A suggestion that might kill me, but a suggestion that will give me something to hope for and look forward to during

“What if we waited until we got back. Stayed faithful over the holiday and when we finally see each other again…we do something special.”

I reach for her hand. She allows me to touch her. I run my fingers over her palms. I want to pull her against me, but we have to do this. We have to talk things out.

“Okay,” she says. “Faithful. I can do that.”

She gives me a curious look as if to question whether I could possibly do the same.

“I could wait years for you,” I murmur. “A holiday isn’t a big deal.”

Clover bites her lip and then looks away from me. I hold her hand tighter. I don’t want her to be afraid.

“I don’t know why I can’t let myself go with you, Thomas.”

I get it. I understand Clover perfectly because I’m like her — too much like her for my own good.

“Because you’re scared to be in love.”