Page 6 of Courting Elizabeth

The silence that followed was more expressive than the most violent exclamation from my mother.

“You accepted?”

“Subject to my father’s consent.”

Charlotte came to sit across from me.

“Will you be able to respect him?”

The question surprised me more than if she had spoken of love.

“I don’t know yet.”

“Then why give your word?”

“Because I may have been mistaken about him. Because he loves me with a constancy few men could match. Because Longbourn will never belong to us. Because Jane has suffered, and I am tired of seeing our future depend on the decisions of men who do not consult us.”

“By marrying the one who decided for Jane?”

I pressed my lips together.

“He has promised not to interfere again after sending a letter to Mr Bingley.”

“A promise made to obtain your consent does not erase the act.”

“No. But it will allow me to see whether he keeps his word.”

Charlotte regarded me with that tranquil lucidity that made her remarks difficult to dismiss.

“The world does not require a woman to love the man she marries, Lizzy. It chiefly asks of her a well-kept house, a character he can bear. You have always wanted more for your married life. To matter more.”

I lowered my eyes.

“Perhaps I was proud to believe I would have the right to it.”

“That is not pride. But your choice does not rest solely on what Mr Darcy is today. It rests on the man you still hope to discover.”

I thought of his lips on my hand, of the fervor contained in his voice when he had spoken my name.

“I believe he exists.”

“Then you are taking a greater risk than I did when I married Mr Collins. I knew exactly what I could expect from him.”

“That is a rather discouraging way to defend marriage.”

“I am not defending it. I am describing it.”

Her frankness drew a smile from me that disappeared almost immediately.

“If he withdrew his offer,” she asked, “would you regret only the security lost?”

I looked at the fire.

“No.”

The word was too quick to be prudent.

Charlotte heard it.