Page 24 of Be More Octopus

'On the ice rink or afterwards?'

'Both.'

'Let's just say we didn't stay at the ice rink long. And he prefers coffee and toast for breakfast.' Lucy looked dreamy.

'I thought you'd decided you weren't even going to kiss him on the first date.'

'A girl can change her mind. We needed to do something to warm up after that freezing time on the ice.'

'It was 23 degrees outside yesterday!'

'I know - we had to strip off.' More distant looks.

Em heard Lucy's doorbell ring. 'Got to go. Lars is cooking dinner.'

'It's only 3 o'clock in the afternoon. What's he planning on serving - a 12-course banquet?'

'We need to have a detailed discussion about the menu first.'

'Of course you do - enjoy!' Em closed the call, glad that at least one of them had found romance.

'Is everything ok?'

Jack looked concerned by the sound of the smoke alarm going off as Em welcomed him into the hallway of her flat.

'Yes, don't worry! Everything's in hand. I always use smoke alarm to tell me when dinner's ready,' she said, desperately trying to make light of the situation as she raced back into the living room to wave a tea towel at the alarm on the ceiling.

“I'm just going to put this in the fridge,” Jack said, holding up the bottle of wine he'd brought with him. 'I think it might be the oven that's the source of the problem,' he called from the kitchen.

'I'm grilling our steaks.' She said by way of explanation. 'It's one of those dual grill/oven things.’

'Were you going for the flame-grilled effect because it looks like the fat has caught fire?' asked Jack.

Em ran into the kitchen. Thin trails of smoke were escaping around the sides of the oven door. 'Oh shit!'

'I'll take that as a no, then,' he said, turning the oven off at the wall.

'I'm not used to using the grill yet.' He must think she was an idiot.

'Do you mind me asking why the chips are in that frying pan?'

'They're oven chips, but then I realised that I needed to use the oven as a grill, so I cooked them for half the time in the oven, then I was finishing heating them through on the hob while I grilled the steaks when the smoke alarm went off . Perhaps I should've cooked the steaks on the hob instead.'

'Perhaps,' he agreed. 'What else have we got to eat?'

'Salad?'

'And is that in the microwave?' He was doing that fake serious thing again. Or she hoped he was. Time to be cheeky back.

Em flicked his backside with the tea towel. 'Don't mock the afflicted. I find cooking very stressful.'

They both laughed. At least he was taking his first experience of her culinary disasters in good spirits.

Jack looked at his watch. 'Shall we wait until we're sure the flames are out and then walk up to the Kingfisher? It's a lovely evening. We can probably eat in the beer garden.'

'I'm really sorry!'

'It's fine. My turn to cook next time.'