Page 56 of Be More Octopus

She needed Lucy's advice. She picked up her phone, found Lucy's contact details and selected video call. No response. She poured another glass of wine and turned on the television.

Her phone rang an hour later.

'Hi, Luce.'

'You're slurring your words. Are you drunk?'

'Slightly.' Em looked at the empty wine bottle on the table. Apart from the glass Jack had had, she'd drunk it all. There were just a few sips left in her glass now. She slid it out of sight of the camera.

'That's not like you. What's happened?'

'Isabella.' She updated Lucy on the day's events.

'But if she doesn't agree, it will take five years before he's divorced. Is he expecting you to wait that long?'

'I don't think so. I'm not even sure he's expecting me to wait at all. I'm so confused. One minute he looks like he's about to make a move on me, and the next … oh, I don't know what he wants.'

'Vag teaser.'

'What?'

'Jack. He's a vag teaser. Gets you turned on and then runs a mile without delivering the goods.'

'He's just trying to be considerate. I think. Or maybe I've been misreading the signals.'

Did she honestly believe that? Those intense looks. The snuggling up together in the cinema. They'd have all led to a passionate session in bed if it had been Connor doling them out. And then there was the way they looked together in the photos that Isabella had kindly provided.

'Good job we've got your slag off the stag weekend tomorrow. You can escape from Jack and his nightmare wife and have some proper fun with us girls. Sounds like you've got two men to forget about now.'

'No, only one. I realised Connor was a waste of space weeks ago.'

'Thank god for that. I could've told you that at the start.'

'Why didn't you?'

'You seemed happy with him. What would you have said if I had?'

'Probably told you to mind your own business.'

'There you go then.'

'Do you think Jack's a waste of space?'

'He hasn't endeared himself to me this week. But he is going through the mill emotionally. I'll let you know when I have met him in person.'

Em faintly heard a man's voice coming from somewhere in Lucy's flat. 'Darling, are you coming back to bed?'

'Sorry, I should've asked if you were busy.'

'I didn't want to mention Lars, given what you're going through.'

'Still with Lars? How many dates is that now?'

'I've not been counting.'

'I better leave you to it.'

'Only if you're ok.'