Page 59 of Be More Octopus

'Neema and Lydia shared a flat with me at Uni. Freya and I used to work together in London. Charlotte is an old school friend. And this is Lucy, who probably needs no introduction by now.'

'Pleased to meet you at last, Jack.' Lucy was leaning casually on the minibus, weighing him up.

'What about me?' Ella got out of the driver's seat. 'Hello, Jack.' Ella put on her best sultry voice, offering her hand for Jack to kiss, which he obligingly did.

'And this is Ella, who is engaged to Sam, Connor's best mate. She's meant to be the sober one. '

'I am the sober one. Not a drop has passed my lips, which is more than can be said for the rest of them. They’ve got through half the weekend's alcohol supplies already. You've got some catching up to do, Em.'

'It's been a long journey,' Charlotte said. 'The traffic's been awful.'

Ella rolled her eyes. 'How would you know? You slept through most of it!'

Jack was charming. 'Lovely to meet you all. I hope you're going to look after Em.'

'Of course we are.' Lucy hugged Em. 'I've planned some very genteel activities for our non-hen do. We've got a private chef cooking us dinner tonight, a relaxing yoga session, some pampering, we're going to learn how to basketweave, and then we'll finish each day with an early night with mugs of cocoa. '

'Is that so?' Jack looked amused, if not entirely convinced. 'That sounds delightful.'

'Absolutely,' Lucy grinned. 'Nothing to worry about at all.'

'Have fun,' he said as he loaded Em's bag into the minibus. 'Let me know how you get on. I've heard basket weaving can be very strenuous.'

'Come on, Em!' Sylvie yelled from the minibus. They were all back on board now. 'We have drinking to get on with.'

'I better go,' Em said.

'Take care. I'll miss you.'

Did that mean this weekend or forever? Em felt her chest tighten. 'I'll miss you too.' She better get on the bus before she said something about Isabella.

They all waved as Ella drove out of the drive. Em's last view of Jack was him wincing as the bus narrowly missed the gatepost.

'What are we doing then?' Em was sitting next to Lucy on the minibus as Ella manoeuvred it back onto the main road. She needed something to take her mind off Jack. Lucy handed her a copy of the plan.

Em glanced through the list of activities. 'We really are doing basket weaving?'

'Yep. Everything I told Jack was true, apart from the early nights. I was Googling how to host the perfect hen party, and it recommended a relaxing creative activity for the last morning after the excesses of Saturday night. A delightful lady teaches basket weaving in the village hall just down the lane from our cottage, which means Ella doesn't have to drive until we head home in the evening. Perfect!'

Lucy went through the rest of the list.

'Tonight, our personal chef is cooking dinner for us at the cottage.

‘Tomorrow morning, we’re easing ourselves gently into the day with some yoga in the garden or the conservatory if it rains.

'Then we've got a beauty therapy team visiting us for an afternoon of pampering ready for our Saturday evening out.

'Dinner at an Italian restaurant. I know we said Indian but Sylvie doesn't do spicy. Followed by a night club. Lots of hot surfer dudes in Newquay. You might get lucky there.

'Basket weaving to keep us amused on Sunday morning, followed by a late lunch at the village pub, and then we head home, dropping Freya and Lydia off in Bristol so they can catch the train back to London from there. Will that do?'

'Superb - thank you so much.' Em hugged Lucy. 'You're the best non-maid of honour a non-bride could have. I'm going to enjoy this weekend so much.'

'You deserve it after what that shithead did.' Sylvie wasn't pulling any punches.

'Sam's had to cancel Connor's stag do,' Ella shouted from the front of the bus. 'Connor reckons he can't afford it. He's pretty pissed that we're still going away.'

Em laughed. 'What a shame. I'm sure he'll be spending the weekend consoling himself with fondling Astra's nipple piercings.' Why had she said that? She would have to sandpaper her eyeballs to get that image out of her head.