Page 19 of Be More Capybara

He smiled. ‘I would prefer a walk. Thanks.’

‘Let’s go then.’

11

NIGEL

Nigel followed Helen outside.

‘It was good of you to insist on paying Pixie,’ she said as they walked up the lane towards the beach.

‘It’s not as if I can’t afford it. It must be hard making a profit here in the depths of winter.’

They reached the concrete steps that led down onto the sand. Helen led the way.

‘So come on then. Tell your Auntie Helen all about your woes.’

He’d been dreading this part in case she was as unimpressed at his employment status as Madison, but he couldn’t leave her in the dark - not if they were going to be friends again. ‘I don’t know where to start.’

‘How about why you’re here alone?’

Alone. That summed up how he’d felt over the last few months, both at work and at home. Very, very alone.

‘Madison - my wife - is at her father’s with the girls. She’s been there since she left me on Christmas Eve. Though she might be back at our house now, but she’s not replying to my messages or answering my calls, and neither are my daughters, so I genuinely have no idea.’

‘You spent Christmas on your own?’

‘Yeah. Just me and a mostly empty fridge after I was uninvited to the celebrations at her family’s mansion in the Hamptons.’

‘What did you do to deserve that?’

‘I resigned from my job, and therefore, lost my status and suddenly I’m at home and under Madison’s feet, and that’s not the life she wants. I can’t make her happy. I’m wondering whether I ever did.’

‘You’ve got two kids. You’ve been married for what, over 20 years? You must’ve been happy once.’

He pulled the collar up on his coat. ‘I suppose so. It’s hard to remember all the good times when you’ve been told she never needed you.’

‘Did she actually say that?’

‘Pretty much.’

‘People say hurtful things they don’t mean in the heat of an argument.’

‘She sounded like she meant it.’ The pure venom in Madison’s voice had shocked him. ‘And ignoring me for over a week doesn’t bode well.’

‘She might still come round.’

‘I’m not sure I want her to after that.’

Helen stopped walking and turned to look at him. ‘Do you really mean that?’

‘Yes, I do.’ The last few weeks had been unsettling, but actually he felt relieved now he and Madison had an ocean between them, and it had nothing to do with meeting Helen again. It was as if a weight had lifted. Not having to do a job he’d grown to hate, and no more trying to please everyone at home as well. It was strange - his whole life had been turned upside down, but he was relaxed now. Surely he shouldn’t feel like that.

‘When you and Angus decided to split, did you feel relieved?’ he asked.

‘Oddly, yes. It had been brewing for a while, but when I found out what he’d done and made my mind up that there was no point carrying on, it was like a fog had lifted. I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t done it before. Finally I could stop going round in circles mulling over whether to leave or not and get on with planning the rest of my life. Does that sound callous?’

‘If you’d asked me that a few weeks ago, I might have said yes, but not now. I feel the same about my marriage. Do you mind me asking what made you decide it was over?’