Page 29 of Be More Capybara

Plaintiff

Madison. Nigel relaxed. Not what he’d been expecting. It was a sign of how crazy everything had been lately that receiving Madison’s divorce petition was a relief.

He slid the papers back in the envelope and walked back into the kitchen. Everyone looked up.

‘Bad news?’ his mother asked.

‘Not as bad as it could’ve been. Madison wants a divorce.’

His mother looked puzzled. Why did you say that? She’s going to wonder what you were expecting now.

‘I’m sorry, Nigel,’ Lucy said before his mother could say anything. ‘Shall we do this another day?’

‘No, I’m fine. It’s hardly a surprise. Let’s carry on. I can get myself lawyered up for Farnham vs Farnham after lunch.’

20

HELEN

Helen looked in the mirror. Why had she bothered keeping her tennis skirt? She wasn’t the skinny size 8 she’d been when she last wore it. She’d managed to get it over her hips - just! But two pregnancies and a touch of middle age spread meant there was no hope of it ever doing up again. She prised it off, then tossed it on the bed to stick in the charity bag. It would have to be leggings. But were you even allowed to wear leggings?

She Googled the club where Nigel had booked a court. No dress code other than footwear with non-marking soles. How was she supposed to know whether her trainers were non-marking or not? Another search explained how, which was why she was in the hall wearing one trainer and scuffing it on a piece of A4 paper when Harry walked in the front door.

He looked at her quizzically. ‘Are you feeling alright, Mum?’

‘No.’ She picked up the paper and waved it at him so he could see the black marks. ‘My trainers are not non-marking.’

He nodded. ‘Why does it matter?’

‘Apparently it does if you want to play indoor tennis.’

‘When are you doing that?’

‘Friday morning.’

‘Since when do you play tennis?’

‘It was one of my favourite hobbies before I met your father.’ Or, more accurately, before you decided to stop playing because it reminded you too much of Nigel. How pathetic.

‘You’d better get some new ones then.’

‘I’d worked that one out, Sherlock. I’ve no idea where though.’

‘Lily works at a sports shop in Barnstaple. You could go there.’

‘Who’s Lily?’

‘Just someone I met in the pub last night.’

‘You don’t know her well enough to qualify for a friends and family discount then?’

He grinned. ‘Not yet. But I’m working on it.’

‘Looks like I’m off on a shopping trip to Barnstaple. Want to come along?’

‘Nah. I’m fine.’

21