Page 3 of On The Edge

“I know! It’s who I am, and that’s why I’m your friend. I’ll take no shit from anyone, and neither should you! You’re too good a person!”

Cat sniffed and gave a chuckle.

“Now, how’s that big lump of yours? Has he found a job yet?” Johnny looked at Cat directly and waited for her response.

“...I think I need another drink!” Cat fell into despair again.

“Ben! More drinks please fella!” Ben came promptly with a tray.

“You’re a star!” Johnny looked up at Ben “Hey how’s your band doing? You guys were great the last time I saw you at The Lime Club”.

Cat left Johnny to flirt a little while as she pulled herself together. She couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for Ben; if only he knew Johnny was actually married.

After Ben had left them, and Johnny had checked him out again from the table as he sidled up to another table, he pulled his chair in a little, and gave his full attention back to Cat.

“OK where were we? Ah - Dave.” Johnny raised his eyebrow.

“Yes...”

“So?”

“So.” Cat nodded her head and didn’t know what to say. She was pretty sure that everything she said about Dave was negative. She couldn’t help it, but at the same time she didn’t want her friend to hate her boyfriend.

“Has he found a job yet, or is he still spending all his time shooting zombies from your couch?” Cat could see the annoyance in Johnny; he had found Dave work at his company a couple of months ago, and one day Dave had simply decided not to go in again. He opted to spend his days at home, unaccustomed to the high-shine, high-pressure world of sales and business meetings. Cat had tried to get him to talk to Johnny about it, but the two had not spoken since.

“Well, he said he was going to the Job Centre today. So that’s good...”. Cat pressed her lips and didn’t look at her friend’s reaction, aware that Dave had said the same thing the week before but hadn't gone.

“Well, that is something.” Johnny agreed, and Cat noted it was not in his usual sarcastic way. He sighed and put down his drink on the table. “Cat, I just want you to be happy. If you need a job, please let me know and I’m sure the firm can arrange something-”

“I know that J, and I'm grateful, honestly.” Cat was touched, and almost felt the tears begin again. Johnny had offered Cat work many times, but she knew working in offices was not what she wanted with her life. Also the idea of just doing more sales work did not appeal to her. This temp work had been a move which was supposed to give her the free time and the head-space to find the job she really wanted. Trouble was, she didn’t know what that was yet. Maybe she should just get another office job with Johnny, but it just would be the same as her last position, wouldn’t it?

“Is he treating you right? I mean, you just don’t seem happy! I know your job isn’t great, but before that you didn’t seem happy either.” Johnny hesitated. “Do you love him?”

“I’m fine, we're... just going through a rough patch. It’s hard when all you think about now is having enough money to pay rent and bills, and it’s especially hard that I’m the only one bringing home the bacon. But Dave is looking for work, and once he’s found something he’ll be happier. I’ll be happier.” Cat emphasized the last point with a nod and a tap of her beer bottle, and tried to avoid Johnny’s question, hoping that this would be enough to satisfy him.

“As I said, I can see if there’s work at the company. You just need to say. I just want you to be happy, honey.” Johnny put his hand on Cat’s, gave her a bright smile, and downed his bottle.

That night Cat went home to an empty flat. A text from Dave told her he was spending the night with a friend. Cat had a sneaky suspicion he was avoiding her, so she poured herself a cup of tea and went to bed. She propped herself on the pillows, staring at the wall and taking sips from the hot brew. It had been so long since they had sex, Cat couldn’t quite remember the last time. She knew that they had both had a lot to drink... was it weeks? Months? The costume drama she had watched the night before left her pining for a man who knew what he wanted and made the moves to achieve it. The story of a gentleman who had loved his woman for years, but for whom circumstances made it impossible to declare it. Eventually both threw caution to the wind and made known their feelings. He had kissed her ever so gently, Cat remembered, and then both looking intently into each other’s eyes, allowed the passion to take over. She lay on the bed thinking of that moment. Of course, they were actors, but that look of hunger affected her. She was confused, empty, upset and alone in that bed, and as her tea grew cold she fell restlessly asleep.