Page 25 of From Scotland with Love

“Now - you’ll be coming tonight, yes? Oh my goodness, where is my head! Mass! It’s Sunday!” Gran suddenly marched off into her bedroom, towel flung over her shoulder. Minutes later she emerged wearing a respectable long navy skirt, and a white shirt covered in bluebell flowers.

“Very nice Gran!” Lori spun around after watching the cakes rising in the oven.

Gran accepted the compliment and ordered her granddaughter to follow suit.

“Gran, do I really have to go? It’s just a bunch of old people listening to a man wearing a dress!” Lori groaned.

“Lass, do you or do you not want roast beef, Yorkshire puddings and fluffy potatoes from the garden roasted to perfection for your dinner?” Gran gave Lori a very direct sort of a look, and Lori caved immediately at the promise of home cooking.

“OK” She stomped off to her room, throwing on anything that looked clean, which ended up being jeans, a t-shirt and a smart linen jacket.

“Very nice,” her Gran remarked, and took out the cakes and shortbread to cool on top of the counter.

“Let’s get this over with, shall we?” Lori grumbled. It had been years since she had stepped into a church. She usually relished the Sundays she wasn't working, which typically consisted of a long sleep in, and then trotting out for brunch with Kim, or a visit to her favourite bakery for chocolate croissants and the best coffee in the whole of Manhattan. The remainder of her day would be spent catching up on the news of the week, touching base with friends, and eating through the highly-anticipated box of buttery treats. Now, looking back on her free time fondly, it had been such a luxury to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. But now, under Gran’s roof, if Gran wanted Lori to go to church, there was no way in hell she’d have the courage to refuse. Gran possessed the very useful talent of making people feel a lingering and pervasive sense of guilt as and when she required it. It was a skill to which Lori had never quite managed to raise sufficient defence.

They walked together to the church. The air smelled of summer; its sticky sweetness of freshly cut grass along with the odd hovering dragonfly, made the stroll down to the iron gates all the more pleasant. The sound of the waves in the distance crashed along the big rocks Lori had sat near the day before. Quite a contrast to last night’s still waters, she pondered, when she had glided over mirror-like water as if gliding on the evening sky above them. She hadn’t mentioned to Gran that Callum and her had spent the evening together, mainly because it felt strange to be out with another man who wasn’t Michael, even if it had just been to explore the - Michael! Lori could scream at herself, where was her head these days? She needed to contact her boyfriend! But he hadn’t been calling her either, was it really down to her to be the one who made the effort?

Lori sat down with Gran at the back of the church and counted ten other people in pews ahead, most of whom sported a grey head of hair; she was the youngest person there by thirty years at least. The priest marched up the aisle as the organ suddenly bellowed loudly and everyone stood to sing the first hymn. The noise of which was atrocious. Lori looked around for anyone else who might have thought the scene as bizarre as she did, but all present had their heads dipped over their hymn books singing to the out-of-tune blasts like some horror movie. She felt like Dracula or Frankenstein was going to pop out from behind the altar at any second. Her Gran had her blue spectacles on, with hymn book in hand, singing aloud with the rest of the congregation. The priest sang the loudest, in fairly good voice, as if trying to drown out the organ, or at least keeping it in time. Lori joined in when Gran nudged her and held out the book before her. The large old church echoed at the racket everyone made and Lori’s gaze fell back over the other parishioners, surely there was a much more interesting way to spend their time than in a dusty old church? As if proving her right, a cobweb floated down from a high rafter, twisting and unfurling to land right down on top of the only non grey haired person in the room - a bald man. The cobweb sprawled across his head as if it had always been there. Lori bit her lip trying not to laugh, just as the man glanced back at her with suspicion. His eyes narrowed and he scratched the side of his head, missing the cobweb completely.

The priest spoke aloud in a welcoming speech once the singing stopped and everyone had stiffly retaken their seats: “Hello everyone. It’s lovely to see ye all on this beautiful day. I hope ye all had a good week. It’s nice to see new members in the stalls too!” He squinted in Lori’s direction and she slide down her seat trying to hide. “Is that your grand daugh’er, Mary?” Father Angus asked loudly in his Glaswegian accent.

Gran grabbed Lori’s elbow and hoisted her up. “It is Father, it’s Lori! Back from New York.”

The bespectacled man with a protruding belly under his white and green gown, beamed down at them. Lori noticed that he was wearing sandals, exposing rather long feet under his garment as he moved gently from side to side.

“Well that’s lovely! From the Big Apple indeed! Somewhere I’ve always wanted to go!” He clasped his hands together. “Ye’ll be here for the wedding?” His jolly manner was seemingly unaffected by Lori’s silence, and to her alarm, a few of the other parishioners turned around to look at her. What did they want? For her to stand up and give a speech on why she was home? In the end all she could do was nod.

“Welcome Lori!” Father Angus smiled again, then closed his eyes, breathed deeply for a moment, and started his sermon. Lori quietly exhaled, and noticed all the while that Gran had been chuckling quietly to herself.

After what felt like at least three hours, the mass was finally over and they huddled at the back of the church where tea and coffee miraculously appeared, and cups and saucers were given out. Gran introduced Lori to other church-goers, although the conversation soon steered towards local news and church doings, and Lori casually edged towards the door.

The priest came over to her holding a cup of tea and munching on a biscuit, seemingly unwilling to let her go so easily. “Would you like a coffee or tea, Lori?”

“Um, yeah OK. Coffee please, thanks Father.” She stood awkwardly as the priest poured her a coffee, then proffered a box of biscuits, out of which Lori gratefully chose a chocolate one, in the hopes that the energy might carry her through the rest of the morning.

The priest gestured to a couple who hovered nearby. “Lori do you know Mr and Mrs Mackenzie?” The couple appeared shy, but nodded at Lori, smiling. The husband was very tall, and the wife incredibly short; complete opposites, Lori mused.

“Hello Lori. We’re Alan’s parents!” The woman held out a slim hand which Lori took.

“Oh yes, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Lori shook the tall Mr Mackenzie’s hand too, noticing that he was holding his own bible in the other. I see what Tam meant.

“We’re so looking forward to the wedding! Although they’re leaving it all last minute! I’ve told Alan to give us any jobs that need doing, but he says he doesn’t know just yet!” the small woman said, looking both proud and anxious at the same time.

“They are being a bit late in their planning!” Lori didn’t know what to say at this point. So far she knew too many secrets to engage in any conversation too seriously. “I’m sure you don’t need to do a thing; let us girls handle it!”

Mrs Mackenzie tapped Lori’s hand with affection. “We’re so happy Alan found someone like Tammy, she’s a lovely girl.”

“She is,” Lori smiled, wondering if only they knew the details of the current situation, would they think the same way about her sister?

One coffee drunk, one priest spoken to, and one couple lied to, Lori was all set and ready to go back home with Gran. It was only when they finally reached the kitchen again, with its array of cooling cakes, that they found Tammy sitting on the sofa, biting her nails.

“Well you got off scot-free!” Lori rolled her eyes “Gran made me go to church!” The sulky teenager in her shone through.

Her sister looked so wild eyed, that Lori immediately excused them both and led Tammy outside into the garden as Gran busied herself in preparing lunch.

“He’s gone!” Tammy bit her lip and paced about the garden.

Lori tried to take in an accurate picture of what was going on. “Who?”