Page 30 of Hide Little Traitor

There was always human interaction. There was Camilla, and then there was the other staff. Even when I was in the cellar at the Lombardi compound, Ronan was coming to see me regularly.

If there’s anything the last few days have taught me, it’s that I don’t enjoy my own company.

I can’t bring myself to go to bed.

At least in the library I can distract myself with other worlds, but the second I slip between the sheets, I’m uniquely aware of just how alone I am.

Is this what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life?

The thought sends a shiver down my spine as I fight off another yawn.

Curling up on the comfortable reading chair beneath the window, I rest my head on the pillow and try to focus on the words, but when they start to blur together, I allow my eyes to close.

I’ll just rest for a minute, I tell myself as another yawn slips free.

Sometime later, strong hands slip beneath me, lifting me from my nest of a chair before carrying me up the stairs.

I allow myself to lean into his embrace, because all the reasons I shouldn’t don’t seem as important while I’m half asleep.

His lips press to my temple, and my chest tightens at the gentle gesture.

The way he handles me is so at odds with who he is outside these walls, and that’s just one of the many reasons Kingston Beaumont is an enigma.

He pauses at the top of the stairs before turning in the opposite direction of my bedroom, but rather than cracking an eye open to see where we’re going, I nuzzle into the place beneath his chin and enjoy not being alone, no matter how short-lived it may be.

He carefully rearranges me in his arms to open a door, and when we step into the room, I know without having to open my eyes that we’re in his bedroom.

In the weeks we spent together a decade ago, I found comfort in his scent. The bourbon and vanilla shampoo I loved back then still clings to him and this room.

Without pausing, he steps forward, never bothering to flick on the lights, and pushes the sheets back without jostling me.

When he bends to put me down, I’m tempted to cling to him. After days of being by myself, I’m desperate to hold on to this moment for as long as I can, but I let him slip me between the sheets and tug the thick blanket over me.

But instead of leaving like I expect him to, there’s a series of rustling before the bed dips beside me and a warm body wraps around me protectively.

“Why’d you bring me in here?” I whisper.

“Because this is where you belong, Mama.” He presses a soft kiss to the top of my head.

“In your bed?”

“By my side.”

There’s a part of me that’s desperate to argue, to tell him I can’t be his. But the idea of being someone’s entire world again is a craving I can’t say no to.

Would it be so bad to say yes to what he’s offering?

But even as I think it, my heart cracks at the idea of never seeing them again.

The lethal bodyguard who treated me with such gentleness.

The boy I loved my whole life.

And the man that claims to hate me but kissed me like I was the air he needed to breathe.

There’s a part of me that knows it’s wrong, selfish even, to want four men, but then I think about Camilla and her guys. The way she shines when she’s surrounded by them.

And I long for that, even though I’ll never have it.