Page 235 of Ricardo

“Because he lost blood. That does not mean he won’t make it through.”

I open my eyes.

The mirror reflects us both. Victoria in blue, pale and pregnant, but steady. Me in green silk and blood, looking like someone dragged out of a literal nightmare.

“He’ll make it through,” Victoria says.

I want to believe her.

I want to grab the words and hold them in both hands until they become true.

Instead, my body starts shaking.

The tremble starts small, and then they grow, becoming unbearable.

Victoria tightens her grip. “Julia?”

“I feel—”

The nausea hits hard and sudden.

I pull away from her and stumble toward the nearest stall. My shoulder clips the door before I get it open. My knees hit the tile.

I barely make it to the toilet before I vomit.

Once. Then again.

Victoria is behind me at once, one hand gathering my hair back, the other braced gently between my shoulder blades, soothing me.

I grip the sides of the toilet and retch until there is nothing left but shaking and the bitter taste of fear in my mouth.

Bless Victoria.

Somehow, between my shaking, the vomiting, the blood, and the fluorescent nightmare of the hospital bathroom, she manages to hunt down a nurse who can get me a toothbrush.

I do not ask how.

I do not think anyone tells Victoria no. Not even here.

The toothbrush is still in plastic when she hands it to me.

“Here,” she says gently.

I stare at it for a second too long.

Then I take it.

My hands are steadier now, though not steady enough. Victoria has to open the packaging for me. She puts toothpaste on the brush, wets it, and passes it back without making a fuss over the fact that I apparently cannot manage the smallest task by myself right now.

I brush my teeth with my eyes fixed on the sink.

I do not look in the mirror unless I have to.

The blood is mostly gone from my hands, though faint traces remain beneath my nails and along the skin near my cuticles. My face is clean. My mouth tastes like mint instead of bile and fear.

My dress is still ruined.

There is nothing to do about that yet.