Page 93 of The Accidental Innkeeper

She had a point. “Right,” I said. “I forgot about boats.”

“Fifteen hundred!”

“Two thousand!”

Mark stood there, smiling politely, like he wasn’t being verbally valued in public.

“Three thousand!” someone shouted.

Before I could process that number, Lola stood up.

She smiled and said clearly, “Six thousand.”

The lawn went dead silent.

Helen arched a brow. “Six thousand dollars,” she repeated. “Do I hear anything higher?”

Nothing. The betting women were mute.

“Sold!” called out Helen. “To Lola Sinclair.”

Lola lifted her arms and took a slow, graceful bow like she’d just won a pageant.

The applause was thunderous.

Mark laughed, shaking his head, and gave Lola a small salute. She licked her lips, very slowly, very suggestively.

Right. I leaned back in my chair, stunned. “Well,” I said, “there goes my understanding of money.”

Becca laughed. “Welcome to Maplewood Falls.”

Helen’s voice rang out, snapping my attention back to the stage. “Our next bachelor—yes, Carlos, our local department store owner. Please come up onstage.”

Carlos stepped forward.

And… huh.

He was about my height. Possibly pushing sixty. Strong build, with black hair slicked back like it hadn’t moved since 1997. He climbed the steps with supreme confidence, scanning the crowd and smiling like he was about to be crowned Mr. Universe.

He was not. He was… aggressively average.

The lawn went quiet as Carlos reached center stage.

“Is he serious?” I whispered.

“Wait for it,” said Becca, a knowing smile tugging at her lips.

Carlos turned to face the crowd and planted his feet. In two swift, practiced motions, he pulled off his shirt and pants, tossing them aside.

The women gasped.

I choked on air.

Carlos stood there gleaming in the sunlight, oiled up like a rotisserie chicken, wearing nothing but a tiny red G-string that looked like it was fighting for its life. Carlos might not have been the tallest or largest of men, but his man-junk bulge was unnaturally massive for his body size. Like three times too big.

“Oh my god,” I wheezed. “Is that thing for real?”

“Told you,” Becca said calmly.