Page 71 of Learning to Love

Jake was seen walking his leading lady up to class. All the other girls loved that, not an eye roll was given insight. I've received a lot of grief for their relationship name. #Dake is the best I could do! If you can do better send it in, as always all entries will remain anonymous.

I haven't seen Jake in two days. I've been staying at our new place, and I've been trying to avoid him like the plague. I've thought long and hard about our relationship and I couldn't break up with him even if I tried. The more I thought about that outcome, the more nauseous I became. I don't want this to end, but I need more freedom. I need to find out who I am and how I really feel. Essentially, I want us to grow together, but first, I need to find me.

I need to examine these pent-up feelings stirring inside of me, maybe I'm not okay with being abandoned. Perhaps I've repressed all those negative emotions for so long because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Jake, the alpha male that I love dearly and the one that loves me, has a habit of smothering me. He means well, he's just trying to protect me, but I need to handle things myself sometimes. I can't lose my independent spirit.

Jake: Open up, Sweet Cheeks. I'm outside your door.

My heart drops and forms instantly into butterflies down in the pit of my stomach. I can't avoid Jake any longer, and I'm not sure if I even want to. I open the door to my room quickly. "Hey..."

He grabs me before I can say anything else, planting a possessive kiss on my lips. I kiss him fiercely. Resting his forehead on mine, he whispers, "I've missed you."

I smile. "I've missed you."

"But you've been avoiding me."

I laugh. "Shut up! I know I have, but you didn't have to say it."

He gives me a wink and leads me to my bed, sitting me in his lap. "Talk to me."

"I'm having a hard time. All the chaos plus my father wanting to come back into my life. The kidnapping, assaults. It's a lot."

"I know, baby, and I'm so sorry. I want to help, please just don't shut me out."

"I've been doing that, and I'm sorry. That's not fair to you. You always have my back. My therapy appointment rocked my world the other day. I have all these feelings boiling to the surface. I thought I had everything worked out already, but I haven't and I need some time to do that." I take pity on him, as he looks panicked. "At first I thought it would be best for us to put our relationship on hold."

"You can't do that, Dani. I can't..."

I place my finger over his lips before he can continue. "I don't want to lose you, but my life is a mess right now, and the season starts in a couple of weeks. Jake, this might be too much for you right now."

He places a finger over my lips now. "Football may be important to me, but I will never put anything on this earth above you. You're my everything, Dani, and if time is what you need, I'll give it to you. Please, just don't make me stay away from you. We can see each other every day still, can't we?"

"Yes, baby. We can."

"Thank God. Now, the Coach won't be kicking my ass. I just haven't thrown well these past two days. Promise me you're coming to our first game..."

"Of course! Mama, Sasha, and Granny can't wait either! If you do great, you'll get more than just the W that night."

His face changes instantly and he greets me with the biggest smile I've ever received. My heart clenches in my chest. I hadn't realized what kind of turmoil I've put him through lately. No more. I need to be independent, but that doesn't mean shutting him out!

He gives me a once over. "Damn. We'll win for sure now!"

I kiss him and he feels like he’s melting into me. My Jake can be so vulnerable at times. I don't get to see that side of him very often because he's always so strong. All he wants is to see the same side of me. That's not too much to ask. "Have you forgotten we have like two classes together this semester?"

"I don't forget anything where you are concerned, baby."

I make a move to straddle his lap. "You know I'm not wearing any panties."

He rubs my bare behind to be sure. I feel his length against my sensitive nub. I grind against his jeans. "Oh, baby. I've always thought panties were overrated."

I laugh. "We've got a couple of hours before pre-calculus starts."

I lift so he can unzip his jeans. I moan as he rubs his tip against my clit. I kiss him and trail more kisses to his neck. That's one of his spots. He's taking too long and the wait is sweet torture. I can't foreplay, it's been too long. I need to feel him inside of me now. I reach between us, grabbing him and lining him up with me. I slide down on him until I’m fully seated and I feel so full. I set our pace as he pulls off my dress and bra. He flicks my nipples with his tongue, making me pick up the pace.

I pull his shirt over his head as I grind on him and claw at his well-muscled back. He stands up, lifting me with him and then throws me down on the bed. I yelp with a giggle and miss him inside me already. He kisses me hard as he settles over my body and then plunges into my depth, making us both let out a lustful gasp. We settle at an almost savage pace. I don't know if Sasha and Toby are home, but I can't stop the sounds coming out of my mouth. Jake can't either. This feels too intense, too feral, and I love every minute! He comes inside me, and I let go finding my release with him.

He curls up beside me and holds me for a while before we get in the shower and prepare for our first fall semester class. As we make our way through the campus, I can't help but notice there is a way bigger crowd than during the summer. People come up, primarily girls, and give Jake high fives or try and engage him in a chat. He holds my hand and introduces me to every single one. They don't look happy, and I can't help but laugh. "I'm going to stop walking with you."

"Why?"