Page 3 of Perfect Chaos

“Glad to have you back.”

“Happy to be back.”

Putting the car into drive, I head towards Elixirs before asking my next question. “How was it? Is everything situated at the Willowhook office?”

“It was lonely and annoying as hell, but yeah, everything is handled. You know I wouldn't have left it otherwise.”

“I still appreciate you staying behind and handling everything for me. I really didn’t want to keep Maizyn there if I didn’t have to.”

“Of course, man. I get it. Speaking of Maizyn, I thought she was coming out with us tonight.”

“She is supposed to. She said she was going to meet us there.”

“We could have done something else if she didn’t want to go out. I would like to actually meet the special woman who has made you lose your mind.”

“I told her the same thing before I left, but she insisted she wanted to. I am hoping she does. I think finally getting out of the house will be good for her.”

“What do you mean?”

“Something has been off with Maizyn since we came back. She hasn’t been herself. She has been lost in thought most of the time. She is completely fine one moment, then not even there the next. It’s like she has these walls she built around herself to keep everyone out, me included. We haven’t discussed what happened the other day; we haven't discussed much of anything besides moving back here. I know we have a lot of shit to talk about between us, but I have been giving her space.”

We come to a stop at a red light when he asks, “What actually happened that day, Atlas? I never thought of you as a killer, yet you left Ramos and me a body to clean up.”

My brows furrow as I realize how little I told Gavin. While it’s not really my story to tell, I won't lie to him. “She would be one of the few people I would actually kill for, but the problem with the statement is the fact it wasn’t me.”

His eyes flash with surprise. “What are you trying to say, Atlas?”

“I didn’t kill Trevor. He was dead when I arrived. She was covered in his blood and had a gun pointed at my fucking head.” A small chuckle slips out as I think about the fact she could have easily killed me.

“What is so funny?”

“She almost shot me. The bullet landed into the wood two inches from my head.”

“Still not seeing the joke.” The light turns green. I start driving again before turning my head towards Gavin and answering.

“I am crazy enough about her I would have let her.”

I turn my attention back to the road in front of me as I brace for his response. The car is silent for a while before he finally speaks again.

“Do you think that’s what is weighing on her lately?”

I am slightly shocked he didn’t say anything about what I just said, but I am also relieved. “That’s what I assumed. I don’t know what even happened to her before I arrived, but killing someone has to have a toll.”

“Did she tell you killing him was bothering her or…?”

“Well, no. I didn’t want to bring it up.”

“It might be important to find out the truth.”

I pull into a parking space at Elixir’s before throwing the car in park and turning it off. “What if it somehow ruins everything we have? I just got her back. She is my yellow. I don’t think I could handle losing her again, Gavin.”

Before he can respond to what I just said, I get out of the car and rush inside the bar. I need a fucking drink, and I want to be calm before Maizyn shows up.

Chapter Four

Maizyn

I hop into the shower as soon as Atlas leaves. I need to wash off a week's worth of funk and depression. If I sit here any longer, I won’t go tonight, even though I really want to. Peeling Atlas’ shirt from my body, I toss it onto the floor before turning to look in the mirror. Fuck. It’s so much worse than I thought. My hair looks like I stuck my finger in an electrical outlet, and there is overgrown body hair everywhere. I might need a weed whacker to remove it all. Don’t even get me started on how bad I smell. I think I could give a high school boys' locker room a run for its money. I'm literally disgusting, yet Atlas hasn’t said anything about it. Not once has he looked at me with anything but love in his eyes. Hell, he kissed me goodbye without a grimace. He let me exist in a comfortable space without pushing me. I’ve never had someone accept me at my worst before.