Page 40 of Perfect Chaos

Their door is open, so I quietly make my way inside. Maizyn is sitting against the headboard, dressed in a larger shirt and a pair of boxers that I assume belong to Atlas. It stirs something in my chest. It makes me ache for a day when she might wear my clothes as well.

“I brought snacks. We should all put something in our stomachs before bed.”

“Thanks, man. I am going to take a shower now. Do you mind sitting with her in case she needs anything while I’m gone?” Atlas grabs a granola bar, eats it in two bites, before grabbing a pile of clothes.

“Go ahead, I got it.” My words land with confidence. Atlas hesitates for a moment before turning on his heels and walking towards the bathroom.

I opt for a granola bar as well, tossing the wrapper in the trash before sitting next to Maizyn on the bed, holding up one of each snack for her to choose from. “Which one do you want?”

“I'm not hungry.” She still sounds tired; that’s to be expected.

“I know, Little Tornado. Just take a few bites for me.” I keep my tone soft and even. I know she needs to eat, but if I push too hard right now, she will probably refuse.

“Fine. I eat the cheese stick.” She huffs the word out before rolling her eyes. At least she is finally back to acting like herself. I peel the wrapper away from the cheese before offering it to her. She leans forward enough to take two giant bites of the cheese stick before lying back against the pillows again.

“Happy now?” The words are mumbles through a mouthful of food. It’s freaking adorable.

“Very happy. Because you did so well earlier, I will let the eye roll slide this time. How are you feeling?”

She shoots me a sleepy grin that gets interrupted by a yawn. “Other than being tired and a bit sore, I’m great.”

She keeps brushing her wet hair out of her face and I’m itching to run my fingers through it. This is a weird place to be; I’ve never worried about messing things up with a woman before. Adding emotions to the mix causes me to overthink. “If you want to lie over here on my lap, I can massage some of the tension from your shoulders.”

I expected her to lie sideways across the bed, placing her head in my lap, but I should’ve known she would take it a step further. She pushes on my chest so that I’m lying back on the pillows before sliding between my parted legs and laying her head on my chest. I pause for a second, simply soaking in the feeling of having her lie with me like this.

I brush her hair off her back, savoring the lavender scent in the air from it. I rub languid flat-hand strokes up and down her back for a few minutes before targeting her shoulders and trap muscles, circling my fingers into a C-shaped motion to work out any remaining tension she has in them. I fight a yawn as I do it. Something about being next to her is making me relaxed enough to be sleepy. “Is this helping at all?” I whisper the words not wanting to break the calm atmosphere. When she doesn’t respond I peek over to see her eyes completely closed. My heart warms with the knowledge that she is comfortable enough with me that she fell asleep. I finally cave to my initial impulse, running my fingers through her long wavy hair repetitively, twirling the strains around my fingers until my eyes flutter closed as well.

Atlas

It takes a lot for me to leave Maizyn again to take a shower. I want to be here taking care of her, but I think Gavin needs this too. I fight with my need for control and put her needs before my own. It’s not just me taking care of her anymore; that's okay. Allowing Gavin to care for her in his own way is still me taking care of her. I have to get it out of my head that I have to do everything. I realize I’ve been standing still under the hot water, lost in thought longer than I intended. I clean myself quickly, shutting the water off and getting out. After drying myself off, I get dressed, then proceed to clean up any mess we left in the bathroom.

Making my way back to the bedroom, the lack of sound concerns me. Entering the bedroom in a hurry, I stop dead in my tracks at the sight in front of me. Maizyn is curled up against Gavin, her head on his chest, his fingers wrapped in her hair while both are fast asleep. This moment right here is something I hoped would happen. I don’t think I have ever seen Gavin sleep so well. I won’t be rude and wake him. He may be my best friend, but it’s my bed and my girl; I will be damned if I’m not sleeping here too. I grab an extra blanket from the closet since they are sleeping on top of the comforter. Rounding the bed to the opposite side, I toss the blanket over them before lifting it and climbing in next to them. I gently slide Maizyn off Gavin, rolling her between us without waking either of them up. Her arms remain wrapped around Gavin. I curl up around her, falling asleep almost instantly. I hope it stays like this, at least for a little bit.

Chapter Twenty-One

Maizyn

No nightmares are a blessing. It’s kind of crazy to wake up feeling revitalized for once. I actually slept well and woke up in a good mood for once. I guess it’s not hard to wake up happy when you get tag teamed after running a marathon through the woods. It’s amazing to wake up feeling happy. The boys went to work at the office today, which means I have the majority of the day to myself. I could stay home and be lazy, but I am itching to get out of the house. I saw on social media that a new bookstore just opened up right up the road, so I think I will visit it today to see if it lives up to the hype.

I should probably get dressed though. I don’t think an oversized shirt and boxers are appropriate attire for walking around in public. I climb out of bed and get moving before I get too comfortable and decide I'd rather stay in it. I take in my appearance in the mirror; other than the messy rat's nest piled on top of my head, I don’t look half bad.

I trot to the bathroom to get a quick shower. I turn the shower on and wait for steam to bellow out from above the curtain before I undress and step under the stream. The boiling hot water dancing across my skin is even more enjoyable when I don’t have internal thoughts to battle with. Is this feeling why people sing in the shower? Can’t say I blame them at this point. I make quick work of scrubbing my body clean, being careful of the few scrapes and bruises left over from last night before moving on to my messy hair. I lather in the shampoo, scrub my scalp a bit, then wash it out before working in the conditioner. I take more time with the conditioner, using it to untangle any knots in my hair. Once my hair is tangle-free, I wash it out and shut off the water.

I wrap a big fluffy towel around my body, letting my hair drip down my back as I brush my teeth. I towel dry my hair next before twisting it into two French braids. I skip makeup entirely today. It’s never really been my type of thing. I usually don't wear it, but it’s something I have to be in the mood to put on.

Freshly showered, teeth brushed, hair situated, that only leaves me with the task of picking out an outfit. I start with a matching black bra and panties set, pairing it with the first pair of black fishnets I pull out. I opt for a pair of black jean shorts today with a cropped black shirt. Keeping with the theme, I put on black socks and my black high-tops. I slip my knife into my back pocket and then create a group chat with Atlas and Gavin to let them know I am leaving the house and where I am going. Don’t know why I didn’t make a group chat sooner; it’s so much easier than sending multiple texts. Mapping the bookstore, I see that it’s only a thirty-five-minute walk, so I decide to head there on foot instead of getting a rideshare. I head out the door, making sure I lock it behind me.

The walk goes by quicker than I thought it would. I always enjoyed walking; today is no different. The weather is perfect for it today. It is really nice to just free my mind and enjoy my surroundings. It is pretty peaceful. As the bookstore comes into view, I instinctively know I am going to like the place. It reminds me a lot of Pages. The exterior of the building is warm and inviting and there is a cute little diner next door to it that I will definitely be checking out once I leave.

I push open the door and a bell chimes above me. The scent of new paper hits me like a breath of fresh air and I immediately feel relaxed. I should’ve found a bookstore sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t have spiraled as much if I had. The inside of the bookstore gives almost fairycore vibes and I am living for it. Twinkly lights, vines, and flowers make up most of the decor. Some of the chairs are even shaped like tree stumps. I honestly love it here. Bookstores always have a sense of home about them. The smell of books settles my soul just a bit more.

I browse the shelves, making a mental note of all of the books I want to come back and buy. I take my time, trailing my fingers along the spines. I flip through a few random books that grab my attention, picking two dark romance novels that I cannot leave this store without. I head over to the checkout counter and am greeted by a bubbly woman who is somehow shorter than I am. I wouldn’t be surprised if she told me she was a real-life fairy. She makes small talk while I check out and instead of shutting down at the idea of talking to a stranger, I actually engage in the conversation. It’s perplexing, honestly. I usually limit any type of conversations because i suck at small talk but her personality is refreshing and she makes me feel welcome. The entire experience just marked it in my mind as my new bookstore. I will definitely be coming back often.

I exit the bookstore, books in hand and enter the diner next door. There is a sign when you walk in saying to ‘sit wherever you would like,’ so I make my way to a booth in the corner. The diner somehow looks new and old at the same time. It looks like 60s retro meets the present. I kind of like it.

An older lady, probably mid-fifties, comes over to greet me. “Welcome to Kathy’s Diner. My name's Margaret. What can I get you started with today?”

“Oh, uh, can I get a cup of coffee to start with?”