Page 52 of Perfect Chaos

“To Insanity.”

That seems to shake her out of her trance-like state, but I scream out in horror at what she does next. She draws the gun. Presses it to her temple. Then pulls the trigger.

Click

The entire room erupts into chaos.

Maizyn

The crisp click of the firing pin hitting the empty chamber may haunt me forever. It’s somehow louder than Vin's menacing laugh as he points his gun at the boys. It’s louder than the screaming that seems to come from all sides. A loud bang detonates behind me, the reverberation of it causing me to stumble forward. The smell of motor oil and kerosene is strong enough that it makes it difficult to breathe. Gunfire replaces the sound of the explosion. I can’t tell if the room is echoing or if we are surrounded by it.

If I survive this and the boys ask me why I did it, I will lie. Say something about knowing the gun wasn't loaded, even though I will always know the truth. I value their life way more than I will ever value my own. When faced with the choice, I will die if it means they will live. It's almost scary how little I hesitated to pull the trigger. The fucked up part is I would do it again, loaded gun or not, in a fucking heartbeat.

I can tell myself that I was just buying time. Time for Ramos and his crew to respond to the panic button I hit when I reached into my back pocket, but that would be another lie. Does that mean that I don't care to live in the first place? Or is it simply the fact that my life wouldn't be worth living without them in it? I don’t know if my action was meant to be heroic or if I was finally giving up the fight. Dying would have been easy, for me at least. My mind splinters in two different directions. What kind of person do my actions make me? I don't know what the truth is anymore.

The room comes back into focus. Ramos must have called in backup; the number of people in this room tripled compared to a few moments ago. There is too much going on. Panic begins clawing at my throat, suffocating me when I can’t locate the boys. I weave through the room, dodging flying bullets and hands that keep trying to grab me. Vin’s men are clear to point out, their formal clothing clashes with the tactical outfit of anyone on our side. It reduces the risk of me killing anyone who is only trying to help.

I pull another knife from the cargo pocket of my pants. I’m not happy that I dropped my favorite one but something told me to bring a spare. A gun would be easier but the one I had was taken from me when I was originally captured. I lash out, swiping the blade across any enemy standing between the boys and me, without a single thought of the consequences. I will get to them or die trying. Red fills my vision. I don’t know if it's rage or blood at this point and I don’t really care. The sound of Atlas yelling something snaps my head to the left. I turn in that direction just as one of Vin’s men comes in front of me, blocking my path. Concealing my knife behind my back, I pretend to be scared, hoping the caveman in front of me will doubt my capabilities. Instead of drawing the weapon strapped to his side, he lunges for me. His mistake, but it works in my favor. I drop to the ground, slashing my knife across both of his Achilles tendons. The man drops instantly, trying to stop the flow of blood pouring from him.

I try to scramble back onto my feet, but hands wrap around my ankles, pulling me back. I kick out, connecting with something solid behind me. I hear a groan, but the person doesn't give up. Arms wrap around my waist, flipping me over to face whoever's behind me. My grip tightens on my knife, swinging my arm in an arc, stopping just before the blade connects. My eyes widen with panic when I see the person holding me is dressed in tactical gear. A giant gloved hand grips my chin, squeezing my cheeks together until they hurt. I can’t tell who it is through the mask. They use their hold to pull me eye level with them. My eyes connect with pissed-off green ones that I recognize and can place.

“What are you doing?” The voice somehow remains calm even with everything going on around us.

Shit, I know that voice belongs to Ramos. I might have only heard it today but the rasp behind it is so distinct that it’s hard to forget.

“I'm not leaving without the boys.”

“Well, too damn bad. I made Atlas a promise. I'm not going to let you be the reason I break that promise.” He raises his gun, shooting someone behind me before returning his attention to me.

I thrash against his hold anyway. I can’t lose Atlas and Gavin. “Fuck you, I'm not leaving!”

“The only way we can all make it out of this is if you follow orders. If you stay, they can't focus on getting out.” He pulls me to my feet, forcing me in the opposite direction of my two men.

“Fine! But if you let them die, you've dug your own grave, Ramos!”

The asshole laughs at my outburst, the smile reaching his eyes. “I'll hold you to it. Now go!”

Two more people dressed in full tactical gear approach us, ushering me to follow. The taller and bulkier of the two takes the lead, then me, then the short one closes up the rear. We race down the hallway away from the direction I entered the compound from. If I had to guess, we are heading towards the south exit.

Pounding footsteps ahead bring us to a halt. The man in front hands me his sidearm while drawing his rifle. We press forward slowly, sweeping each corridor that we pass. Two men round the corner towards us. I pull the trigger without hesitation, dropping one of them while the man behind me kills the other.

We continue the same way. Moving in silence while taking turns shooting anyone blocking off our path until we make it out of the building, where I'm ushered into the back of an SUV that's supposed to take us to a meetup spot a mile up the road.

I climb inside first, both men climbing in after me, none of us wanting to break the silence. A sharp throb begins to radiate in my side as my adrenaline wears off. The closer we get to the rendezvous point, the more intense the pain becomes. A searing burning sensation soon follows. I try to fight it, telling myself that I simply overexerted my energy. I continue to ignore it, trying to focus on my surroundings as a distraction. It’s not long before the SUV turns down a dirt road; each hole we hit on the bumpy terrain jostles my body in a way that amplifies the pain I'm in.

I remain silent the entire time, trying to focus on breathing through the pain. My mind keeps drifting to Gavin and Atlas. It’s killing me not knowing how they are or if they made it out alive.

The SUV comes to a halt. I stagger out of the back with only one thing on my mind- finding out that the boys made it.

There are three other SUVs are stationed around what looks like a makeshift medical tent.

My body sways and black spots float in my vision, but none of that matters when I see Gavin and Atlas climbing out of another vehicle. I forced my body into a sprint, running as fast as I can to them. I collide with them as we all yelp in pain. I wrap my arms around both of them and hug them as best I can. Both of them kiss my head as I break down in tears. “I'm so glad y'all are okay,” the last word coming out as a hiccup.

“Of course we are,” Gavin mumbles into my hair.

“We couldn't leave you, Chaos,” Atlas whispers against my ear.

We finally break apart, turning to Ramos and the other two people with him. “Thanks for getting her out, Ramos.”