Page 6 of Perfect Chaos

Atlas and I turn towards her just in time for her to hunch over and puke. Shit. I hope It's not my fault for running out here with her over my shoulder. She drops to all fours, heaving up what is mostly liquid. We follow her to the ground. Atlas pulls her hair back and before I can stop myself, I begin rubbing small circles on her back.

Once it seems like she has nothing left to throw up, I pull out the pack of mint gum from my pocket, handing her a piece. She takes it with shaking fingers as Atlas helps her to her feet and begins to walk her to the passenger seat.

“Ugh. Can I sit in the back instead? I want to be able to lie down if I want to.”

“Of course, Chaos. Anything you want.”

Atlas guides her to the back seat, buckling her up. He pops the trunk, rummaging around for a moment before retrieving a bottle of water. He slams the trunk closed, handing the bottle to her before shutting her door. He passes me to climb into the driver's seat while I stand awkwardly to the side, watching the entire exchange. I knew being with her changed him, but it's entirely different watching it happen in person.

“You coming, Gavin?”

Atlas' voice pulls me from my thoughts. I climb into the passenger seat as cop sirens can finally be heard. He cranks the car and we pull out of the parking lot. I turn on the radio before glancing at Maizyn in the back seat. She seems to be asleep already, so I keep the volume low.

“Do you need your stuff from the hotel tonight or can it wait until tomorrow?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You're moving into the guest room? Like we talked about earlier.”

“Oh. If you have a pair of sweatpants I can borrow, then I can just get everything and my car tomorrow.”

“Okay. Sounds goo-.”

A panicked gasp from the backseat cuts off the rest of his sentence. Both of our heads snap to where Maizyn bolts upright from where she was resting against the window, looking dazed. Atlas forces his attention back on the road for a second before looking back to her. “She is having a panic attack! Shit. I can’t pull over anywhere right now. Gavin, can you do something?”

My stomach drops to my feet at his request. I fumble to undo my seat belt so I can lean over the center console to get closer to her. Her breathing is coming out rapidly. Her eyes are wild-looking, flicking back and forth without settling onto anything. Her nails are scratching at her arms, leaving red welts behind. I grab her hands to stop her from hurting herself, pulling them flush to my chest. Her touch is almost burning through my shirt but she has no reaction. It’s like I am not even here. I press my fingers on her pulse point in her wrist. It’s beating out of control.

“Maizyn. Maizyn!”

She looks at me for a brief moment before her eyes seem to gloss over.

“Maizyn. Can you hear me?”

No response. Just a dazed look and her breaths become shorter. “Hey. I need you to breathe with me. Breathe in for four, hold for four, breathe out for four.”

Still nothing. Fuck! Tears begin to stream down her cheeks. Her breathing is so shallow and choppy she is almost hyperventilating. “Atlas, the normal things are not working.”

“Fucking do something, Gavin!” his voice trembles as he yells.

“Fuck! Okay! Look… I have one more idea, but you might not like it.”

“I really don’t give a fuck what you have to do, just do something! Whatever it takes to get her to calm back down.”

Releasing her hands, I climb over the console, flopping ungraciously into the back seat next to her. I cup her face, hoping the touch will snap her out of it. I try to talk calmly, but the panic still bleeds out in my words. “Look at me. It’s okay, I’ve got you. You are safe.”

Still no response. Fuck am I really about to do this? I don’t have another choice. I smash my lips against hers. She gasps, sucking in a breath as soon as my lips connect with hers. I press my fingers against the pulse point in her wrist again. The moment I feel it slowing down, my lips pull away from hers, my own panic beginning to set in. Her breathing has returned to normal, and her eyes widen in shock as life finally rushes back into them. I jumped away from her so fast, as if she burned me.

Fuck! I didn’t want to kiss her, but I didn't know any other way to get her to calm down. I whip my head in Atlas' direction, expecting an outburst of anger or for him to hate me, but instead, he thanks me for helping her. It makes me feel like an even bigger asshole than I already did. I move away from Maizyn, trying to give her space.

“Wh- What- happened?”

“I’m sorry… You were having a panic attack. Nothing was working, and I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Uh. It’s- It’s okay. I’m okay. Thank you, Gavin.”

She turns away from me, laying her head against the window, closing her eyes. Not wasting another moment, I climb back over into the front seat and look anywhere but at her. I might not have understood why my best friend worshipped her on an altar earlier today, but after meeting Maizyn Lewis and kissing her, I did. I was envious he met her first, and I would quickly drop to my knees right beside him.

Maizyn