Page 60 of Perfect Chaos

Gavin leans forward. Gently embracing me in a hug. He kisses the top of my head before whispering into my hair. “I think it would help all three of us if you did.”

My eyes squeeze shut for a moment. I don't know how to put how I'm feeling into words. I let the first thing I think of fumble from my lips. Maybe not overthinking it is the best way to have this conversation. I open my eyes again but avoid eye contact with either of them. “I don't always know how to accept help. When I need it, even though I know it's irrational, sometimes the walls come back up.”

Atlas embraces me from the other side, pressing his forehead against my shoulder. His lips brush my skin as he speaks. “That's okay; we can figure it out as we go. But let's change the perspective for a moment. You let us take care of you during aftercare. You have to let us help you when you truly need it.”

I shake my head back and forth. “That's different.”

“How so?” Atlas raises a brow in question.

“I don't know; it just is.” I sigh in frustration.

“The only difference is you allow yourself to be vulnerable; you trust us to take care of you in that setting. This is no different.” Gavin keeps his tone soft.

“Can you trust us to care for you in all aspects of your life?” Atlas rubs circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

Tears drip down my cheeks because I know they are right. “I can try.” I choked the word out. The past forty-eight hours feel mentally fucking exhausting on top of how tired I physically feel.

Atlas gently wipes the tears from my face. “That's all we are asking for you to do, Chaos.”

“Can you help me get changed? Do I even have clothes to change into?”

“Natali brought you a change of clothes.”

I nodded my head, allowing them to help me undress. Atlas unties the hospital gown, slipping it from my arms, causing it to pool on the ground at my feet. He pulls a hoodie over my head, giving me the time to put my arms through the sleeves on my own before helping me rise to my feet.

Gavin crouches down in front of me, allowing me to brace my hands on his shoulders while Atlas holds my waist to keep me steady. My legs are a bit shaky. This is my first time getting out of bed after waking up in the hospital. The pain in my side is a dull ache as they help me step into a pair of sleep shorts before guiding me to sit back down on the edge of the bed. I put on a pair of house slippers and buzz the nurse.

Atlas

It’s clear that we all have a lot of things we are still working on. Maizyn talking to us about how she is feeling is proof that we are moving in the right direction. The nurse brings the wheelchair, only staying around long enough to go over how to care for Maizyn's wound and to let us know to come back in two weeks to get the stitches removed.

Gavin goes out to get the car while I help Maizyn to her feet. I stay close enough that I can help her if she needs it. I hold the chair still for her, keeping it from rolling out from under her. I take a step back, forcing myself to let her have the independence she needs. Her brows scrunch in concentration as she struggles with maneuvering through the doorway.

“Do you need me to help you?”

“No, just give me a second; I can figure it out.”

After three more tries and a few curse words later, she manages to get through the tight doorway. “Yes! See, I told you!”

I actually laugh at her reaction. “You killed it. Good job.”

Her laughter lifts some of the weight from my chest. I follow behind her as she speeds down the hallway. I don't know how she figured it out so quickly, but I'm glad she seems to be making light out of the situation. Gavin is parked at the entrance, leaning against his car, waiting for us. Maizyn stops halfway to the car. Taking a moment to soak in the surroundings, her nose scrunches in confusion.

With her history of memory loss, my stomach drops to my feet; panic rising to the surface. I crouch down in front of her, cupping her face in both hands. “Hey, hey, what's wrong?”

Her eyes snapped to me in surprise. “Huh? What?”

“Are you okay?

“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?”

I sit back on my feet, taking a deep breath, letting my hands fall to my lap. “You looked confused. I panicked, I-” I shake my head to try to expel the unwanted emotions. “I thought-” the words stick in my throat fuck, I sound pathetic.

“You thought I forgot again…” Her words trail off, understanding dripping from them. She grabs my chin in one of her hands, forcing me to look up at her. “Please look at me, Atlas.

I let her. Her eyes sparkle as they connect with mine. I can't deny her even if I don't like her seeing me this way.

Her lips brush against mine, talking against them. “I'm still here with all my memories. You're stuck with me.”