Page 84 of The Killer’s Mark

‘Your unwiped butt.’

‘Examine away,’ Poe said, smiling. ‘But as Tilly did the security, I bet you anything Go to Bed Early can’t get into anything electronic.’

Gotobed flexed his fingers. ‘Miss Bradshaw does have a reputation, Mr Poe. But those of us who work in the field think she’s just got very good at patting herself on the back. I believe she’s about to find out she’s not as clever as she thinks she is.’

‘OK,’ Poe said.

Gotobed reached for Poe’s laptop. Poe didn’t try to stop him. ‘It’ll save time if you tell me the password,’ he said.

‘What’s a password?’

Gotobed tutted. He pushed his glasses up the same way Bradshaw did. His hands whizzed over the keyboard like he was a concert pianist. He leaned back, smug. Pressed enter. Nothing happened. He frowned.

‘Oh dear,’ Poe said. ‘Whatever will you do now?’

‘Is there a problem, Andrew?’

‘No problem, sir.’ Gotobed opened his bag. Pulled out his own laptop and hooked it up to Poe’s. ‘This has the most advanced decryption software in the world. It’s still in its beta phase, but I’m authorised to conduct field trials.’

He pressed a few buttons. Noises happened. He pressed more buttons. More noises. ‘Watch and learn, Miss Bradshaw. This is how it’s done in the real world.’

Bradshaw sighed. ‘I wouldn’t complete that command if I were you,’ she said.

‘I bet you wouldn’t.’

‘You might want to listen to her, mate,’ Poe advised.

‘Shit’s about to get real,’ Esmerée said.

Gotobed pressed enter.

His screen went blank. Poe’s laptop beeped. It seemed like a happy beep.

Gotobed stared at his screen in horror. ‘What the hell just happened?’ he exclaimed, panicked.

‘I told you not to do that,’ Bradshaw said. ‘Now everything that was on your computer is on Poe’s computer. And your computer is bricked. You won’t be able to fix it. Ever.’

‘Whoopsie,’ Poe said again.

Gotobed looked like he was about to cry. He half-heartedly pressed some more buttons. Didn’t make a blind bit of difference. His computer was as much use as a cardboard condom. ‘I’ve never even heard of security like this,’ he moaned.

‘That’s because I haven’t told anyone about it,’ Bradshaw said.

‘What’s it called?’

‘Mind your own business.’

‘Sorry.’

‘No, I meant it’s called “Mind Your Own Business”.’

‘How does it work?’

‘I doubt she has the crayons to explain it to you, Go to Bed Early,’ Poe said. ‘But don’t worry about it. You think her intelligence has been overstated, remember?’

Gilliard picked up Poe’s laptop. ‘We’ll take it back to the lab,’ he said. ‘We’ll take all their computers back to the lab. All their phones. And if Poe still has a pager, we’ll take that too.’

‘You can’t, sir,’ Susan said. ‘Bum search warrant, remember.’