Page 1 of If I Didn’t Have You

1

CLARA

“He only got one year in prison! That fucker should have been sent away for life!” Ben shouted, banging his fist on the table.

I jumped slightly at the noise as I rinsed another plate and put it in the drying rack. The summer heat poured in through the kitchen window, but the gentle breeze was enough to cool me down for the moment.

I loved everything about summer on the ranch, from the heat that was desperately needed after the bitter winter, to having the windows open and enjoying the nighttime air.

“Pop, he’s gone for now. Be grateful.”

“Grateful?”

“They couldn’t pin anything else on him. We’re lucky the police got him for the hit and run.”

This discussion had been going on for the better part of dinner, and if I had to hear one more thing about Austin or the Callahan family, I’d scream. Spending two nights in the hospital was enough drama for one lifetime, and the only good thing that came out of it was the fact that Austin was out of our lives for the next year.

“I’m heading out. I’ve gotta check on the rentals first thing tomorrow.”

Ben grunted in response, but thankfully didn’t make any snide remarks about how he wasn’t working as much around the ranch.

“Thanks for dinner, Ma.” Jeff pressed a kiss to my cheek and ran off, leaving me to rinse the sauce from his plate.

Sighing, I washed his dishes and wiped down the counter. When had this become my life? Every day was the same. Washing dishes, making breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Cleaning up after everyone tracking mud in the house. Doing laundry.

God, my life was boring. I couldn’t remember the last time I did something for myself. The only time I had a drink was when it was a holiday. Always red wine. Always the same cheap brand. I was predictable down to the apron I wore every night as I made dinner.

I startled out of my musings as Ben wrapped his arms around my waist, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

“How are you feeling today?”

That was another thing I was tired of—being treated like I was made of glass. Ever since I was poisoned, Ben lovingly wrapped me in his arms and kissed me gently. Sex was off the table. Not that we had a very active sex life over the last few years. As we got older, it was like we just stopped trying. Sex was scheduled into our routine instead of spontaneous and fun.

We were officially a young old couple.

But I put a smile on my face anyway. “Fine.”

“Are you sure? I could finish up for you, and you could go lay down.”

Steam threatened to shoot out of my head as I looked around the clear counters and washed pots and pans. The only thing left to do was give everything a final wipe down, which would take all of five seconds.

“I’m okay,” I gritted out.

“Sure?”

“Oh, I’m pretty positive.”

“You know what you should do?”

“Hmm?”

“Pour yourself a glass of wine and take a hot bath. That’ll help.”

A glass of wine and a bath? Seriously, that was the most boring thing I could possibly think of doing at the moment. I was so freaking tired of being old and tired. I was only…

Fifty-six?

God, I really was pathetic. How had I become like this? In what world did a woman like me end up in the kitchen all the time with flour in her hair and chipped nails? I used to be stylish. I was fun and full of life.