Page 102 of If I Didn’t Have You

That wasn’t what I was expecting her to say, but I couldn’t argue with her on that point. She was absolutely right. The feud had wreaked so much havoc on our lives, and we needed some peace around here.

“I’ll talk to John.”

“Really?” Her eyes swam with tears as she gazed into mine.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last year, it’s that I absolutely can’t live without you. When you collapsed at Thanksgiving…it was the most horrible feeling in the world. I thought I lost you that night, and⁠—”

A lump swelled in my throat, making it impossible to choke the words out. I could still feel the panic building in my chest as she foamed at the mouth, how erratic her pulse was, and that moment I knew something was horribly wrong.

“That should have been my wakeup call.”

“Ben—”

“I should have known right then that things had to change. When I saw you in that hospital bed fighting for your life, that should have made me see that things between us had gone wrong. I will never forgive myself for letting things get so bad.”

“But we’re getting back on track now,” she whispered.

“And I will never let it get to that point again.”

I wasn’t sure if I’d said all I needed to, but I’d followed Sam’s advice, and hopefully, it was enough.

She sighed, resting her head on my shoulder. “But it’s not enough for us to realize what’s gone wrong.”

“I know, and I’m fixing it. I swear to you.”

When her eyes met mine, I hated the hope I saw there. A man never wanted to feel like he was failing his woman that much, or that she had to hope he would finally fix what he’d broken.

“I talked to Liam about the business. We’re working through some ideas, about how to expand and make things more successful.”

“Really? That’s great.”

I sighed, shaking my head. “I know I’ve blown it since the ranch changed. It shouldn’t have taken you kicking me out of the house to realize what a fuckup I was.”

“I never said those words.”

“You didn’t have to,” I grumbled, brushing my lips across hers. “All I ever knew was the ranch, and the life I thought I needed to lead for my parents. It’s strange to take instruction from Liam, but that kid is smart. You did a good job with him.”

“It wasn’t all me.”

“No, but you gave him everything he needed to make sure he was successful. All I did was push and yell.”

“Let’s not rehash who did what,” she chuckled. “All that’s important is that we fix things going forward and don’t make the same mistakes.”

“I’m good with that. I don’t want to keep fighting about everything.”

“Neither do I.”

“Then it’s in the past. It’s over and done with. From now on, we only think about the future.”

A soft sigh slid over my skin as she once again rested her head on my shoulder. “I love you, Ben. And I’m sorry I kicked you out.”

“I needed it. It brought me back to you.”

Smiling, she ran her hand over her hair. “So, you really like all the changes?”

My cock pressed against her belly as I repositioned her in my arms. “Well, I will admit…I’m gonna miss the chance to grab your hair as I fuck you from behind.”

“Ben!”