Page 20 of If I Didn’t Have You

He tipped his hat and turned around. But before he could leave, I found myself calling out to him.

“She’s doing good, by the way.”

He turned and cocked his head at me.

“Clara. She’s doing much better.”

“I’m glad. Truly.”

It was an odd feeling to not be pissed at just the sight of him. Then again, I could hardly remember what it was like to talk to him without snarling at him. God, I felt really old.

I was certain I would find Clara at the house when I got back, but Liam was the only one there, waiting for me to return so we could get started.

“Is Ma out shopping for more stuff?”

“Not sure.”

“You don’t know where she is?” he snorted. “That’s a new one. It’s been months since you’ve let her go anywhere without calling one of us to look out for her.”

“She was gone when I woke up this morning.”

“Huh. Well, Bailey said she’s on a kick. It’s gotta feel good, right?”

I was just about to start putting up plastic where we were going to rip down the wall when I paused. “What’s gotta feel good?”

“Seeing Ma so excited. She’s spent years looking after us. It’s good to see her doing something of her own.”

Why the hell was it that my son could see how happy she was, but it was only pissing me off? Jeff was excited, too. She was out spending money, asking me to rip down walls, and that was a good thing?

“So, you’d have no problem if Bailey wanted to tear down walls and basically throw your life into upheaval all because she wanted to be happy about something?”

My son stopped and stared at me in a way I’d never seen before, and it took a minute to realize it was something close to disgust.

“Pop, if there’s one thing I learned from you, through all the shit we went through, not getting along, and basically pissing each other off, it was that your family means everything. So, yeah. If it made Bailey happy to tear down walls and do something that made her feel good about herself, then yeah, I’d do it all for her in a heartbeat.”

“It’s fucking ridiculous,” I snapped.

“Is it?” He shook his head at me. “Pop, you’ve never been good with change. I think the real problem is that she’s found a way to make herself happy, and you’re still living in the past.”

“I am not,” I argued.

“Yeah? Then tell me the real reason you’re pissed about redoing the house.”

I couldn’t escape the way he glowered at me, practically begging me to give him a reason that didn’t make me out to be a world-class shit.

“I built this house with my old man⁠—”

“That’s not an excuse. This house is beautiful, but that was years ago. You’re not tearing it down. You’re adding to it and making your wife happy. What the fuck is so wrong with that?”

“It’s my house!”

Chuckling, he got back to work. “Like I said, you’re not good with change, but Pop, you moved Ma in over thirty years ago. I think it’s time to let go of the notion that this house was ever just yours.”

7

CLARA

“And then he stuck his finger in the pie, not realizing that I had purposely made a fake pie with shaving cream on top! But Tanner, being the sneak that he is, couldn’t wait and shoved a whole handful in his mouth!”