Page 82 of If I Didn’t Have You

My wife. The love of my life. She was almost taken from me, and there was nothing I could do about it. But to have it happen all over again, to see her in that car, watching every move she made just to be sure she was okay…

Fuck, I really didn’t want to relive that.

Maybe that’s why she got rid of me. I might have been a tad overbearing at the hospital. Yes, I demanded X-rays, a CT, and anything else I could look up on the internet.

Caroline kicked me out of the room just so Clara could have some breathing room.

I knew I was going too far. You didn’t have to be a genius to know I was a fucking mess. I tried to tone it down. I tried to be cool about everything, but when I saw the tired look on her face, it was like that night all over again. And I demanded the absolute best for her. But for some reason, that only pissed off my wife.

That was yesterday. Today, I ran as fast and hard as I could, hoping to burn off the energy consuming me. I didn’t sleep a wink last night, just sat in my truck in the driveway, praying my wife was okay. I only left when I saw the light flick on in the bedroom this morning.

Slowing to a jog, I continued down Main, finally coming to a stop just outside the apothecary shop. The same shop that provided the poison that nearly killed my wife.

Unintentionally.

Josie had no clue about any of it, but that hadn’t mattered to me at the time. I stormed in there and tore the damn place apart, effectively destroying my relationship with her and JR. We weren’t exactly close, but JR had been a good friend to the family up until the day I nearly ruined his wife’s business.

Stepping closer to the window, I peered through, my lips twitching as she bounced around the shop with her little tyke. Jax, I was pretty sure they’d named him. He had to be at least four months old now.

Fuck, Clara would know about these things.

With tentative steps, I pulled the door open, ignoring the tension in the room the moment my footsteps echoed around the empty space.

JR scowled at me as he rounded the counter and placed himself between me and his wife. Message received. I was not welcome here. Not that I could blame him. I’d said some horrible things to his wife that day.

He’d threatened to kill me if I ever walked into his wife’s shop.

Well, here I was, and things wouldn’t get better on their own.

“I came to apologize.”

My words did nothing to ease the tension in JR’s body. If anything, he looked like he was ready to string me up from a tree.

“Josie…I know there’s nothing I can say to fix what I did.” My words were practically strangled as they left my lips. I was not great at apologizing, and even worse at admitting the fault was all on me.

“How is Clara?” she asked, stepping forward, only for JR to once again place himself between us.

“She…uh…got herself into a little bit of an accident yesterday,” I chuckled.

“Because of the poison?”

The concern in her voice was sincere. How I could have ever thought she had anything to do with Clara almost dying was a mystery.

“No.” And now it was time to bite the bullet. “There’s no excuse for what I did. I only hope that one day you can forgive me for what I said and did. I was…terrified.” I swallowed hard, trying not to go back to that moment. “She was laying there in my arms and— When I found out she’d been poisoned, nothing about the way I reacted was rational. And I’m sorry I took that out on you.”

Despite her husband trying to block her, she stepped around him and walked toward me. A sincere smile graced her lips, which only made me feel like more of a shit.

“I understand. Thank you for coming here.”

JR gripped his wife by the arm and dragged her back to his side. “We are not okay, and we never will be,” he bit out.

“Understood.”

“JR—”

“He’s right,” I interrupted before she could defend me. “If anyone had come at my wife like I did with you, there’s no way I’d let them near her again. It’s just the way it is.”

“But you were scared,” she whispered. “People do crazy things when they’re scared.”