Page 14 of Just for the Season

‘When are you going back?’

‘I…’ I almost tell her that I’m going back tomorrow evening, before realising that I can’t pretend that I’m still living and working in London – that level of tangled web would be impossible to maintain and she’d be devastated if she thought I’d lied to her. ‘I’m actually… I’ve left my job and I’ve moved down here to live with Ellie for a while.’

‘Frankie!’ Gran screeches, so loudly that every head in the room turns in our direction. ‘That’s huge news. Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘It was very spur-of-the-moment,’ I say to my newly whole-room audience.

‘Has something bad happened?’ Gran is very difficult to hoodwink.

‘No,’ I say very firmly, before downing the rest of my glass and grabbing another one from a passing black-tie-clad waiter. (Miranda likes to go fancy for her parties.) ‘No, I just fancied a change of scene.’ And then I parrot Ellie’s words about me having never actually intended to work in real estate for life. ‘It’s because I’ve just turned thirty-five,’ I say, trying not to gulp again at the thought that I’m halfway from thirty to forty and my love, work and housing situations are all a complete disaster. ‘It seemed like the right time to make a change. I didn’t mention it to you before because I thought it would be nicer to tell you in person.’

‘But what about dear Richard?’ Gran always did her absolute best to hide it but clearly – and correctly – never liked Rick.

‘Well, big news, we’ve split up too!’ I announce, not only to Gran but to all those present in the room, who are still listening to every bloody word.

‘Golly, Frankie.’ Gran stares at me. ‘Jobless and single.’

‘No, no, no.’ Simon – who arrived just behind Gran – rushes forward. ‘Frankie is not jobless. She’s working with me in the café. We have big plans for expansion.’ Such a good lie.

‘That’s right,’ I confirm, signalling a massive thank you to him with my eyes.

‘That’s why someone thought they’d seen you in the café last weekend,’ Gran muses. Then she gets back to the task in hand, i.e. worrying about me. ‘Single, though. At nearly thirty-five. I thought you wanted to start a family.’ She looks so concerned I can’t bear it. I need to stop her worrying.

I could go one of three ways. I could tell her I have no desire to start a family with a stupid man, thank you very much, but I would like kids and I’m going to go down the donor route. I’m not sure how she’d feel about that. I could also tell her that I have no desire to start a family full stop. I don’t think she’d believe that because it isn’t true, and she does know me very well.

And so I go for my third option and down my current glass of champagne, and say, ‘Not single. I have a new partner. He’s much, much nicer than Rick.’

I immediately think fuuuuuck. That was so stupid. She’ll want to meet my new boyfriend.

‘Oh, how wonderful!’ Gran has immediately perked up. ‘Who is he?’

‘I…’ I look at Ellie and then Simon and then Miranda, my brain working furiously but to no effect. And then I look round the room. And then I take a big slurp of champagne for inspiration.

Inspiration strikes quite quickly. I’ll just name someone! Easy! I could just say Simon. He’d happily pretend for me. I open my mouth before remembering in the nick of time that Gran almost certainly does know that he’s gay. Dammit. Why does everyone in this village have to know everything about everyone? Okay. Think.

I take another slurp of champagne.

And then my eye alights on Marcus.

Who was very rude to me last weekend and ruined my cake. He owes me. And while he is in reality someone I would clearly never, ever want to date, he is very handsome, and it’s totally believable that someone (who didn’t mind people with shit personalities) would want to date him. And he really does owe me big. He actually owes me huge.

He can help me out for one evening.

So I draw a deep breath, point to him dramatically, and say, ‘Marcus.’

His mouth falls open and then I see Ellie take his arm in a vice-like grip. She turns him round and stands on her tiptoes to whisper into his ear.

I, meanwhile, just stand in the middle of the room, feeling very, very proud of my quick thinking. I could have upset my beloved grandmother. I could have disappointed her. But, no, I immediately came up with an excellent… well, lie. But not a bad lie. It was a good lie. Just a teeny, tiny little untruth that won’t upset anyone at all and will make my grandmother happy.

Hmm. Marcus doesn’t look very happy. He and Ellie have their backs to everyone else and seem to be talking and, although my vision’s going a tiny bit double, I can definitely see that his back looks quite rigid. But maybe he’s just a very rigidly backed person. Maybe he used to be in the army or something. Maybe – this would be amazing – maybe he’s still in the army and is one of those army people who moves around a lot, and he will soon move away, and then my tiny little lie will just fizzle away somehow.

Wow, genius that I subconsciously chose a soon-to-disappear army person for my fake partner. I smile around the room, feeling very, very pleased with myself. I have kept my grandmother happy and I chose the perfect person to help me.

Hmm. Something’s niggling at the edge of my mind and I don’t like it. I glug some more champagne and then I hiccup. It’s a very fizzy drink. Not as fizzy as lemonade or Coke, but much fizzier than apple juice. For example. I hiccup again. I kind of wish I hadn’t had so much of it. I don’t feel that good, really.

Gran’s been silent for a few moments, taking in the news, but has now regained her powers of speech.

‘Well! This is such a surprise. It’s wonderful.’ She beams at me while I blink to try to get the room back into focus. ‘Does this mean you’re moving to the village forever? Or did Marcus move here because of you?’