Page 10 of Halo

“She’s so strong—” my voice cracks. “She always has to be so strong. I hate that this is just one more thing for her to overcome. One more setback—”

“But consider the alternative, Nick.”

I sigh. “I know …”

Jonathan offers a kind grin. “Because of your quick-thinking, she’s still here. She gets to overcome this. She gets to go on and live.”

I blow out another heavy breath. He’s right. I know he’s right, but something isn’t connecting.

“I may be overstepping …” Jonathan holds up his hands in surrender, carefully choosing his words. “I saw her birthday. She’s about thirteen, right?”

Almost thirteen.

Hesitantly, I nod. I already know where he’s going with this because it’s what I refuse to acknowledge. It’s what has been haunting me all day.

“Maybe—I don’t know … Maybe it’s time to see someone.”

“A shrink?” I chuckle humorlessly. “You of all people …”

He laughs under his breath. “Fair.” He stands, casually shoving his fists in his pockets. “As much as I hate to admit this, therapy has been extremely helpful for us, for … well, everything. Just consider it.” He ambles to the door, stopping short to face me one last time. “We support you regardless. You deserve to move on and be happy, too.”

I stare at him, his admission causing my heart to misfire. Moving on seems impossible. That’s like getting away with murder, like I’m leaving something sacred behind. If I allow myself to be happy, what does that say about everything that has been lost? What does that say about my friendship with Jonathan?

“Hey—” he grabs my attention—“go home. Get some rest. More lives need that Crawford charm tomorrow.”

Yeah, yeah …

I grin, giving him a small salute. “Thanks, Chief.”

As soon as he leaves, I sling my duffel bag over my shoulder and exit through the front of the hospital where the walkways are covered. It’s longer this way, but at least I won’t get drenched from the downpour. Moseying down the west corridor to the main lobby, I wave bye to a few colleagues.

“Hey, Nick! Wait up!” Casey Frazier catches up to me, flouncing her hair over her shoulders.

“Hey—” I glance at my watch—“what are you still doing here?”

She chuckles, rolling her eyes. “Oh, you know. Paperwork and all that jazz.”

I hold the door open for her, and we fall into step, heading toward the parking garage.

“Listen,” she starts, “I heard you had a tough case today, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I flash her a cordial grin. “I’m fine, but I appreciate the concern.”

“Sure—I mean, of course. So … um—” she brushes her fingers against my arm. “I also wanted to make sure you know that if you need anything … or a distraction, I’m here.”

I stop walking, rubbing a hand over my jaw and stare at her. A year ago—hell, six months ago—I may have gone along with it just to muffle the noise in my head. Meaningless hookups have served their purpose of mending my bruised heart many times before, but honestly now, it sounds exhausting.

Casey watches me carefully, her teasing smile fading. “I mean, no pressure or anything. I just thought maybe you’d like some company tonight.”

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Casey, I—”

She waves me off. “It was just a thought. Forget I said anything.”

I stop her from walking away. “Hey, don’t do that. I do appreciate you, just … it’s not what I want tonight.”

She stares at her shoes for a beat. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No.” I shake my head. “Of course, not.”