Page 148 of Halo

I need my son. More than anything.

My fury doesn’t disappear; I just swallow every violent impulse clawing its way up my throat and press my hand protectively against the back of his head.

She can wait.

He can’t.

I shift Grady onto one hip and fish my phone from my pocket. My hands are shaking badly enough that it takes me two tries to unlock the damn thing.

I open Leah’s messages.

The picture she sent me earlier is still sitting there, a remnant of another fucking lifetime when the biggest problem I had was getting through the rest of my shift without losing my mind over my girlfriend.

My thumb hovers over the keyboard.

ME: I need you.

Chapter 37

Nick

I’m not sure I ever actually fell asleep. The sky outside is still dark, but enough morning has crept in through the blinds, letting me know that most of the night has passed.

They moved Grady to the pediatric floor for observation sometime after midnight, and the nurses kept us from getting much rest after that. Grady struggled even more whenever the room went quiet. Poor guy kept waking in a panic, arms outstretched as he searched for me. I finally crawled into his bed and pulled him to me. He tucked himself against my side and stayed there, his breathing eventually settling into the slow, even rhythm of sleep.

The doctors are still waiting on repeat labs, and a caseworker is supposed to come by this morning to sort through the complicated mess of figuring out who can legally make decisions for him. My paternity case is still working its way through the Texas courts, which means everyone knows I’m Grady’s father except, apparently, the State of Texas.

Needless to say, I called my lawyer.

Soft snores pull my attention across the room where Leah is curled into herself on the narrow couch. She showed up last night less than an hour after my text, her face pale with worry as she hurried through the door.

I told her she didn’t have to stay, but I'm so fucking glad she came.

Tiffany was medically cleared sometime early this morning and taken into custody. From what the officer told me, this isn’t her first DUI, and with the drugs they found in the car and Grady testing positive for exposure, she’s facing charges serious enough that prison is a very real possibility.

Anger doesn't feel big enough for whatever is sitting inside my heart right now.

I fucking hate her.

For putting Grady in that car. …

For gambling with his life …

For being so goddamn selfish …

But as much as I hate her for harming our son, there’s a part of me that hates myself even more. I knew something was wrong. Maybe I couldn’t name it or have proof, but I felt it every goddamn time she was late or changed her story or flat out didn't show up.

I should’ve trusted my gut feeling.

I should’ve done something.

Fuck.

I chose not to visit her in the ER before she left. I couldn't. My son needs me more than ever, and I didn't trust myself to come face-to-face with that woman.

Right now, the only thing that matters is the little boy asleep in my arms.

I bury my nose in his hair and breathe him in before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. My hand finds his beneath the blanket, idly counting each chubby finger.