Page 206 of Halo

I hadn't intended on doing this with Grady today, but when he saw the bouquet of pink roses, he asked if they were for Leah.

Then he asked if he could visit with me.

I normally come alone, usually in the quiet of the morning before it gets too crowded. And we just chat. About life. About family. Even Angus. All the pieces of my life I wish she was here for.

I don't think my guilt will ever go away, but I'm learning to welcome it, to treat it like something else entirely. Maybe it was never just guilt. Maybe it was all the love I still had for her, with nowhere left to put it.

My fingers trace the etching on the faceplate, as if I can reach through the stone and touch her. Hold her.

Delicate hands settle on my shoulders before her fingers work into the tight muscles along my neck.

“You okay?” Leah whispers against my ear before kissing my temple.

I reach back for her hand and press a quick kiss to her palm. “Yeah. I am.”

“I think Grady will treasure this. Meeting his older sister.”

“I don’t know.” I glance up at her. “You don’t think he’s too young?”

She shakes her head. “No. He’s curious. And this lets him understand it in a way that isn’t scary.” Her voice drops. “Besides, he’s got a pretty weird family tree, and he’s taken all of that in stride. He’s pretty resilient.”

I grin.

He really is.

I check my watch. “Hey, partner, we need to head out. Vera and Birdie are gonna be waiting for us at the trampoline park.”

He dusts the grass from his knees and hurries over, reaching for my hand. “Can we bring flowers again?”

My fingers grip his. “Sure. Whenever you want.”

We load up in the truck, Grady climbing into his booster seat and fastening himself in.

Leah stares through the windshield, lost in her thoughts. She fidgets with the edge of her cardigan while the charms on her bracelet tinkle softly with every movement.

I start the ignition. “You ready?”

Her eyes find mine, and she forces a smile. “Ready or not, I guess.”

I slip my hand in hers, and she instantly squeezes tight. My thumb gently strokes across her knuckles.

I shift into drive and ease us onto the road.

***

Leah’s knee hasn’t stopped bouncing since we sat down.

I keep her hand locked inside mine while she worries the edge of her thumbnail between her teeth, staring at the closed door.

My own heel taps against the floor before I catch myself and stop it.

Neither of us says a word. There isn’t a damn thing left to say or pray.

The door opens, and her gynecologic oncologist walks in with a smile.

“So, I have our results.”

Every muscle in my body locks. My heart pounds harder, each beat climbing into my throat until I can hear my pulse inside my skull.