Page 61 of Keeping it Local

“Lydia! I said we only need the one cooler!” my dad yelled at my mom. “Your mother. Always trying to feed the nation when it’s only a five-day trip.”

“So, where are you headed to?”

“I think this time we’ll go up Lake Michigan, maybe the dunes. Not exactly sure yet. We like to keep it exciting,” he joked, keeping the conversation lighthearted.

“I’m sure that’ll be a great trip.”

“How’s everything up by you?” He was more tentative.

“Things are good. Not sure if Ryan mentioned anything, but I’m trying to buy this cottage resort up here. Things are a little up in the air still, but I’m crossing my fingers.”

“That’s good. That’s good.”

After thirty-plus years working in the plant, my dad didn’t really get the business that I was taking on. At least, he didn’t understand why I’d want to do it. When I tried to explain what I was building, he questioned it. My dad being the company man, had a hard time understanding why I would choose owning my own business over having a predictable income.

“Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve reached out.” I huffed, blowing the air out, getting the words off my chest. “Things have gotten a bit crazy around here, and… that’s on me. I shouldn’t have let it go that long.”

“I appreciate that.” He paused, and it was quiet in the background now. “It’s not all on you though.”

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t been the best at reaching out either. You know your mother and I have our travels and things going on here.”

“Yeah, you guys keep busy.”

“But that’s not an excuse. I miss you, son.” He paused. “I know I wasn’t the greatest when everything happened with Anne.”

I nodded, resting my head on the steering wheel, feeling my eyes getting watery. My mind flashed back to those first few months with Anne.

I had talked with my dad, bringing up the text messages with her, and he told me to let it go—that marriage was working through things and that if I couldn’t handle it, I shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. I was already drowning myself in grief having everything with Anne crashing down around me, and my dad’s sharp words cut deep. I needed support at the time, and he hadn’t given it. He criticized when he should have been a strong guiding presence. But the more time that passed, I realized I was doing myself more harm than good to hold onto the resentment toward him.

Dad cleared his throat. “It wasn’t your fault, you know? I know I was hard on you. I know that now. I should have done things differently.” He paused before saying quietly, “If I could do it over… I’d do things much differently. I’m so sorry.”

My heart pulled heavy in my chest and my breathing slowed as I listened to the words I hadn’t realized I was waiting to hear.

“I never would have thought she’d be like that. Makes no sense. That’s on her though, and I’m truly sorry that I waited this long to say this to you. I should have stood by your side instead of second-guessing all your decisions. You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes, these things just don’t work out. And I should have told you that.”

He was silent for a moment, and I put the phone on mute as I cleared my throat before responding to him.

“Thanks, Dad. I needed to hear that.”

“Well, I’m sorry it took so long for me to say it. I love you, son.”

“Love you too.”

We both were silent for a moment, listening to each other breathe, and I sat in my truck, still numb but relieved as I watched the other boaters make their way to the dock.

“You know? Your mom and I wouldn’t mind coming up your way sometime. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate with this new resort thing you have going.” He paused. “Ryan said you’re really doing something big up there. I’m proud of you.”

I nodded, not sure how to respond at first, then deciding on, “Thank you.”

My dad was a man of few words—probably one of the reasons why we went longer without talking sometimes, and for him to say that… it felt good.

“Well, it’s true.” He sniffed. “Hey, looks like your mom is having trouble getting the bikes down. I’m going to have to let you go, but I meant what I said about coming up there. Let us know when a good time would be. Retiree time is flexible, as you know.”

I laughed. “Yeah, I know. Sounds like a plan.”

We hung up, and I laid my head against the headrest, running my hands over my jeans. I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t expecting him to even pick up.