Page 79 of Keeping it Local

I hummed.

“She’s a completely different person than Anne was. Not even a comparison.”

“Let’s just say you were right. I shouldn’t have gotten mixed up with anyone. I’m not ready. Didn’t make sense then, doesn’t make sense now.”

“I wasn’t right.” He leaned down, elbows on his knees and lifted his head “I’m the last person you should take relationship advice from, but I’m telling you right now, if you let this woman walk out of your life, you’re going to regret it. You are ready. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”

He said it with a clip, and I had to do a double take. His vulnerability was showing, and it wasn’t something he let out often—if ever. My eyes shot over to him.

“Trust me. Don’t make a stupid mistake because you’re scared of what could happen,” he said, his voice getting deeper, almost as if he were talking about someone else.

We were both quiet for a few moments, the silence heavy in the air, and the cool breeze licked my ankles as I leaned back into my seat. Lane looked away from me and studied the fire like there was some mystery buried there. I took a few deep breaths before responding to him, wondering what made him react that way.

“I miss her,” I said, careful not to give too much.

“I know you do. It’s written all over your face.”

“This is not how I wanted to end things with her. I wanted…” I paused. “I want…”

I didn’t know what I wanted, but it wasn’t this. It wasn’t sitting alone in my backyard with my buddy who was just as lonely as I was. It wasn’t continuing to close myself off from what could be. It wasn’t being in the hole that I’d dug three years ago.

I didn’t know how to get out.

I didn’t know how to fix it.

As if reading my mind, Lane said, “You’ll figure it out, and you’ll do what you have to.” He sat up now, looking at me directly.

But I was scared. As confident as I tried to appear to everyone around me, deep down, I still felt like I couldn’t measure up.

Less than a week later, I received a phone call that surprised me and lifted a huge weight I’d been carrying.

I got the clear to close for the resort.

Even though I’d only worked on this project for a few months, it felt like it had been a year with all the issues with the credit union and then having to figure everything out with the city.

But when the agent called, he said the seller wanted to close in the next few days if that fit into my schedule.

Now, as I walked into the title company office, I ran my hands over the button-down I’d thrown on. I’d closed on enough properties at this point, but there was something special about each one. Something that felt like a new beginning.

I hadn’t talked with Beth in almost two weeks, and the heaviness in my chest didn’t subside like I thought it would.

Even after talking with Lane, I couldn’t seem to gather the words to call her. After what I did, it didn’t seem like enough.

Each night, when I went to bed, I laid awake tracking everything that happened that night. Everything that I fucked up.

And I had fucked it up.

Thinking back, I couldn’t believe the jealousy that I’d thrown in her face for what seemed like no reason now. Even though at the time, it felt like everything.

But I couldn’t just call her. If I wanted her back, I’d have to show her.

She was a no-nonsense girl, and I couldn’t come up with a half-ass plan. She’d expect more. She deserved more.

I opened the door, waved to Nancy, the gray-haired woman behind the desk, and took a seat. This was the only title company in town, and I had run all my rental purchases through them. At this point, she knew me. I was here early, so I grabbed one of the old magazines on the table and started flipping through it to distract myself.

Ding. The door opened again, and this time, there was an elderly man who wasn’t taller than my bicep. He was hunched over, and he wore a plaid shirt and blue jeans with a baseball cap. He reminded me of my grandpa, and he had a wide smile as he tipped his brim to Nancy. She waved her fingers and returned his smile, pink leading from her cheeks to her ears.

“Morning,” he said, taking a seat next to me. He looked around at the otherwise empty waiting room. “You here for the closing?”