Page 4 of Septembers

Caleb raised his hand like he was in class. “I would’ve acted, but I…didn’t.” He winced, and a few of the girls laughed, but not cruelly. One of them, a tall blonde with a button nose, pointed to a sticker on the toe of his converse, and they started an animated discussion about it.

Theo stuck his hand out to Fezzik. “I’m Theo, but you can call me Theodore when you’re feeling dramatic.”

Nailed it.

“Then I’ll always call you Theodore. I’m Jordan.” Her hands were tiny but surprisingly rough. “Major?”

“Communications. You?”

“English literature.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t ask me why, it’s useless. At least you’ll be able to…communicate?”

“That’s the dream.”

Someone lit a sparkler, and it fizzed through the air, briefly giving her a halo. “I like you, Theodore Communications. Want to be my new best friend?”

“Depends on what happened to the old one.”

“Graduated.”

He clicked his tongue. “The nerve.”

“She’s dead to me. You interested?” Theo nodded, hoping she’d remember this conversation in the future. She grabbed his face, squished his cheeks together and planted a kiss on his lips. “I shall find you on the morrow.”

Then she and her posse were gone.

Theo didn’t meet any more new best friends that night, but he did get far too drunk and flirt with a linguistics major. Jokes about how adept he must be with his tongue were made and regretted, but in the end, he walked away with his socials.

Overall, his first day at university was considered a raging success.

Cold Pizza & the Name Terry

Dae was already gone by the time the three of them trudged into the kitchen and forced cold pizza down their throats. Even with all the lights off, the morning glow through the plastic blinds had them squinting at each other through crusted eyelids.

Theo lifted his third glass of water to his lips, but unfortunately, there wasn’t enough water or toothpaste in the world to get rid of the foul taste that had crawled into his mouth the night before.

“Last night was a bad decision.” Jason’s forehead was plastered with glitter and his voice sounded like he’d eaten a cheese grater.

“Which part?” Theo asked.

“All of it. Every single thing.”

Cold pizza was the most delicious thing on this or any planet, so the fact that Theo could only handle three and a half bites meant Jason was right.

Caleb’s eyes were closed, his fingers clutching a bottle of water. “The blueberry vodka? Bad. The four-in-the-morning poutine run? Bad. Everything else?” His lips curled into a slow smile. “Good.”

Jason’s ‘pfffffffffffffffttttttttttt’ lasted so long that Theo worried he forgot he was doing it. “Convinced he met his soulmate after a five minute conversation about stickers. Did you even get her name?”

“Name schmame. She’s the one, boys.”

“Slow down, champ. It’s only day two.” Theo ruffled his long hair, which was quite luxurious when not tied in a bun.

After their sorry excuse for breakfast, they headed to the student common area. The tour was at nine, welcome speeches by the dean and heads of departments at ten thirty—during which they had to nudge Caleb every time he snored—then lunch and the beginning of the Frosh Games, which, if it had been up to Theo, would’ve been called Score-ientation, but who was he to critique?

After being split up into groups of students from different departments, they were forced to zig-zag around campus to various game stations while trying to pretend they hadn’t all been screaming drunks the night before.

Related: Had the sun always been so aggressive?

Theo’s team was surprisingly competent, and not one of them threw up, which was an accomplishment itself. Their final challenge was in the Circle, forcing them all back to the scene of the crime, with a rounded wooden board on a folding table shaped like a miniature curling pitch.