Page 54 of Septembers

Dae barely flinched, his focus still on the tea. “It’s an exchange program with Seoul National University. My mom had me apply in the summer so I could experience Korea more than a few weeks at a time.”

“You didn’t say.” He hadn’t told them. Hadn’t told Theo.

“I didn’t get in, so I didn’t think it mattered, but someone dropped out, so…” The words were small, the vowels hurried and the consonants muffled, like he didn’t want to be understood.

Caleb was shaking his head, his jaw slack. “Korea.” It was more a sigh than a word. “That’s so cool.”

Cool? Their friend was leaving for a year, and Caleb thought it was cool? Theo stood, not really meaning to, but his body wouldn’t stay still. Jason asked questions like, where would he live, did he have friends there, and would he take the same classes? Theo tried to listen to the answers, tried to keep his expression supportive, but there was a distracting rushing in his ears.

“That’s, um…” His throat was so dry. “It’s really great, Dae. I’m excited for you.”

“Thank you, Theo.” His face was hard to read, like he wanted support but was disappointed by it.

“You better send us pictures.” Theo threw everything he had into making his voice encouraging. “I want to see every delicious meal you eat.”

“Of course.” A small, dimple-less smile. “I know your priorities.”

“When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tom—” He stopped himself from sounding outraged. “That’s so soon.”

“I’m a week behind, so I have to catch up. My dad is picking me up in a few hours.”

A heavy quiet filled the room, and they stayed buried under it for a while, letting the fact that he was really leaving settle over them. Then Jason and Caleb went to get boxes, leaving Theo to help Dae sort his stuff.

He tried his best not to sulk up the stairs. “What time is your flight?” He didn’t care; he just didn’t want to drown in the crushing silence anymore. He didn’t even pay attention to the answer. “One sec.”

He disappeared into his own room and shut the door, taking long, deep breaths, digging in his closet for the gift-wrapped box he’d hidden. Dae had been there for him so many times. It was time for Theo to suck it up and be there for him.

Dae’s room was the same as they’d left it a few days ago, the sheets rumpled where they’d slept, the water glass still on the bedside table.

“I was obviously going to wait until your actual birthday, but you’ve given me no choice.”

Dae took the package like it was a bomb. “Do you want me to open it now?” He seemed legitimately scared, so Theo shook his head, watching as Dae tucked it safely into his bag. “Are you angry?”

“No.” The word came out too fast for either of them to believe it. “Not angry, just surprised. And sad. Sadprised.” He tried to catch his gaze, but Dae was very intent on packing. “But I am happy for you. If this is what you want, then… Well, I’m happy for you,” he repeated lamely, because he had no idea what to fucking to say. Then the truth just stumbled out. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” Voice soft. Back turned. Shoulders tense.

This time, Theo couldn’t help it, he had to try to melt away some of that stress. He seemed to accomplish the opposite when he put his hands on Dae’s shoulders and massaged, working his way towards the back of his neck.

“Theo.”

“I can’t let you get on a plane like this.” It felt like putting his bare hands on a live wire. He slid his fingers down his back, smoothing down his t-shirt. Then, of their own accord, his hands circled Dae’s waist and clasped at his stomach. Dae could probably feel his heart kicking at his back and his body reacting to him. That should’ve made Theo pull away, but the thought of not hugging him was worse than any embarrassment or fear of crossing a line.

“Don’t forget about me.” His words came out squeezed, ground-up, and wounded.

“How could I?” Dae tipped his head back, leaning into Theo, and they stayed like that, gently swaying, until the front door opened, and Jason and Caleb stomped up the stairs. Theo pulled away, wiped his wet face, and helped his friend pack, feeling his absence grow with every item they put in those damn boxes.

༻𓆪 𓆩༺

have you forgotten what I look like?

Dae

I’m sorry, I bought a new phone, who is this?